Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnTunes:Little Wiccan Chicken
UnTunes:Little Wiccan Chicken[edit source]
Hrm... Sir ACROLO KUN • FPW • AOTM • FA •(SPAM) 07:39, October 6, 2010 (UTC)
| Humour: | 7 | Hi there. Now I should probably start by saying that I've never done an UnTunes pee before, mainly because I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to reviewing them. However recently I have taken up the practice of reviewing the oldest request on the list, which lo and behold led me to this.
So let’s begin. Overall I don’t think it’s a hugely funny, but it’s not at all bad. I guess the whole idea of a Wiccan chicken is just a bit silly, but I’ll talk more about this later. Generally you make good use of chicken-humour; referring to crossing roads, Colonel Sanders and things "tasting like chicken". But other times you seem to be making do with lyrics that aren't hugely funny just to fill time before you get back to the chorus. Like this bit, for instance: Look into my book of shadows, Turn to page 69 Stoke the fire with my bellows, Domination will be mine. Again, it's not that the line is bad or anything, it's just not as strong as some of the previous bits. It’s just a bit of a waste really, because you don’t get a whole lot of jokes in there. I think you need to focus more on the blending of chicken and Wicca. At no point do you really make fun of Wicca, except for possibly the cliché of turning things into frogs. This could be something to think about if you do want to revise any of the lyrics. I didn't find the last verse to be as strong as the beginning either. Again it seemed unfocussed. The rhyming of leg and egg felt a bit forced, like the leg line didn't actually have anything to do with it, but you wanted to get a reference to eggs in. The reference to nine lives too, obviously that's got nothing to do with chickens, but I guess it's slightly Wiccan. Still, it felt out of place. Your opening notes thing at the start could probably do with some work too. The idea that "recent studies" have been done to find out why the chicken did cross the road is just a tad silly. I don't think you really need to explain the whole crossing the road thing, everyone associates that with chickens anyway. I personally would prefer a bit of background to this "Wiccan Chicken" character. How did the band come up with it? Is it based on a true story or some kind of drug-induced dream? You could still work crossing the road into it of course, but right now it just seems that the only reason for the song's existence is because Wiccan rhymes with chicken. Maybe this is the reason, if so, make that the joke perhaps. There's nothing wrong with there being no deeper meaning than that, in fact it could be quite funny, you could explain how the band were always questioned by over-analytical critics on the meaning, when really there isn't one. It just rhymed. Some kind of explanation would definitely help with any randomness. Ok, now let’s talk about the song itself. Bits of it are a little out of time in places, mainly the guitar I think, but the drums sound a little out too, here and there. I’m not sure what you could do here as I don't know how you recorded this or what kind of equipment you have. I imagine it wouldn't be too hard to record a new guitar part and ditch the old one, if you can be bothered. Re-doing the drums, however, would be a lot harder I expect. I don't know, maybe you could just knock a few of the out-of-time parts forward or back, so they align with the rest of the instruments (although I realise this would require sophisticated technology, I know a friend of mine does it sometimes, but I’m not sure how). Overall I quite like the music. The quality was pretty good and I loved the sound of the bass, in fact I thought it was a shame that it kind of faded into the background once the guitar came in. I also liked the time change. My only issue here was that it seemed a bit repetitive and overlong. The chorus, in particular, suffers from this. You do it three times, which for such a long and repetitive chorus seems too much in my opinion. Again, I'm not sure whether you're able to correct this, but I think some brevity is important here. Perhaps if you halved the chorus? |
| Concept: | 5 | Nothing else to add here as it's all above. I've scored you kinda low though, sorry. It's mainly because I think the concept is a bit random and a bit easy. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7 | I have no idea what to say here, or even how to score, so I'm just giving you an average 7. |
| Images: | 6 | Well, you only have one, which is absolutely fine for an UnTune, it just means there isn't much to review. The image itself isn't incredible or anything, but it will do. It would be kind of nice to see a slightly more Wiccan-looking chicken, but it's not a big deal. |
| Miscellaneous: | 6 | My gut feeling overall. |
| Final Score: | 31 | Right, I've just read this review back and it looks really rubbish. They always told me UnTunes were hard, but I didn't believe them! Anyway, if you can work on any or all of the things I've talked about I think it would make the whole thing a lot better. At the same time though I wouldn't worry too much about it, you've clearly worked hard on this and I don't want to invalidate that. Plus, it's probably going to be quite difficult for you to re-record parts of the song. Still, it shouldn't be too hard to rework the intro, and maybe strengthen a few of the later verses. If there's anything I've said here that you want me to explain better, or if you want my opinion on anything I might have missed, please let me know and I'll try to help. I hope the review is ok. |
| Reviewer: | --Black Flamingo 20:38, November 28, 2010 (UTC) | |