Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnTunes:Goodbye facebook screen (Social Networking the wind)
UnTunes:Goodbye facebook screen [edit source]
I had a good laugh at this - and it goes straight to nomination - remember, it's a song.--Funnybony 20:46, October 2, 2009 (UTC)
It's not exactly my usual style, and again I'm crossing boundaries. (Is it an UnTweet or is it UnTunes, only it's hairdresser knows for sure.) Pup
Ok, I'll see what I can do here. Orian57 Talk 
10:05 3 October 2009
| Humour: | 6 | It’s very hard to laugh out loud to an UnTune you can only read, but some of the lines made me smile. I probably had problems because I didn’t know what the original song was, so sorry for being so young/musically ignorant.
I actually thought that the adverts and other bits you had at the side were very funny, I’d quite like to see one or two more as I thought they were an excellent addition to the page, few people know what to do with an UnTunes page after they’ve written the song (me included). |
| Concept: | 5 | Then concept isn’t wholly original. And, in my opinion, it’s not done differently enough from UnTunes:Myspace Is Ghay (which has an audio) to warrant a high concept score. However there were some original bits with the formatting and the stuff at the sides. I’m afraid to say there’s little you could do to remedy this in my eyes (except from re-writing it so it wasn’t about wasting your life on a social networking site). |
| Prose and formatting: | 8.5 | OK so this is definitely your major selling point. It looks nice, it offers the opportunity for more jokes, for any one new to the site they probably did a double take and wondered if they were still here. Which I think is a good thing and it’s obvious that you’ve put a lot of work into this. I do have one really big problem with this though and that you seem to have deprived me of the option to edit. I’ve looked and I can’t find a way of doing it. Which is not good, considering anyone – including the inept, should be able to edit Uncyclopedia.
I noticed some bad grammar/spelling in the adverts bit which I’d like to congratulate you on, those ads are often terribly written English due to the fact they’re run through basic translators from German. Another thing that I suppose goes under here is of course the absence of an audio. I think Sonje is taking audio requests as well as images. Of course you could always grace us with your brash and offensive Australian accent. |
| Images: | 8 | Another strong point here. The mafia wars picture is pretty funny on it’s own and works because it looks real (is it original or is it actually stolen from real life?). The fat man picture I’m a bit unsure about, Yes it fits the caption perfectly but it’s still massively overused and a bit yuck. I would suggest getting a different one, but I’m not going to penilise for it.
The friends bit was pretty good, because they’re all either dead, imaginary or Marilyn Monroe (who could be either; I’m not sure who she is and I keep confusing her with Marilyn Manson.) per haps a few more faces along this theme could work, although I see that the lack of friends is the joke it’s terribly over used and here a bit too subtle. |
| Miscellaneous: | 6.86 | (Averaged by wizard to 2DP) |
| Final Score: | 34.36 | Bottom lines: More side bar content. You have the space for it and what you already have was funny.
Really need an audio – even if it isn’t sung to magnificent standards, an UnTune isn’t really an UnTune if there’s nothing to listen to. Create an obvious link to being able to edit the page. If you’d like to thank/insult/ask me about any of this please visit my talk page. |
| Reviewer: | Orian57 Talk 12:02 3 October 2009
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