Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Local man disappointed as Twister game fails to turn sexual
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UnNews:Local man disappointed as Twister game fails to turn sexual[edit source]
-- wobbly Ape (programme) (Riot Porn) 13:03, June 7, 2010 (UTC)
| Humour: | 9.5 | Ah yes, I think anyone who has played twister with the other sex has gone through this very uncomfortable moment. I myself did when...never mind.
I like what you did with this article. The main thing that's going for you is the fact that you stuck to an encyclopedic/journalistic tone, especially when it came to paragraph 4. I just cracked up when I read that because a lot of other writers may have written something childish or something that doesn't sound that it came from a news station. This is what really makes the humour score go up to 9.5. Very well done, very funny. |
| Concept: | 10 | I'm surprised this hasn't been done before (has it?), because I reckon nearly everyone who's ever played Twister would have said some dirty, sexual innuedo. So it seems logical that this article would be done at the home of Oscar Wilde dirty jokes. Good job for thinking it up! |
| Prose and formatting: | 10 | You've got everything you need for an UnNews article. You've adopted a past-tense (present-tense for the last paragraph), journalistic tone throughout the entire article, you used paragraphs, you put a date-stamp on the top and you've got an accompanying picture. I couldn't ask for anything more. |
| Images: | 9.3 | A highly relevant picture with a very funny caption. You probably could have gotten a more...how should I put it...comprimising photo of Twister being played which would have added even more intense funniness to the article. But other than that small thing, you've done well here. |
| Miscellaneous: | 9.7 | Just your average mark. It is quite high, I must say. |
| Final Score: | 48.5 | When new prospective UnNews journalists are looking for what to do with an UnNews article, I think your article should be where the come a-knocking. The article is a little on the short side, but I didn't mark you down for that considering a lot of UnNews articles are as well. There are two things I really like about this article. Firstly, you stayed in journalistic language the entire time, which helped made it look genuine and made it even funnier, and secondly, you've taken a really (what I would think) common joke between people and run with it. On the down side, the next time my 7-year old cousin asks me to play Twister with her, I won't be able to think normally any more about Twister. SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!? |
| Reviewer: | --Username18 21:19, June 8, 2010 (UTC) | |