Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/The Duke of Edinburgh Award

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The Duke of Edinburgh Award

Because I hate scraping hypothermic teens off mountains because some Greek/Danish/German arsehole pretending to be Scottish has told them it would be good for them to camp there in December. Maybe I just need to drink more. Or less. Sog1970 21:20, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

Drink will ruin your style Soggy.--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate). 14:14, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

I'm in here, 24 hours (Which won't even earn you a bronze by the way). --ChiefjusticeDS 14:19, November 6, 2009 (UTC)

Humour:	9	I thought your humour was very good and that you had very few problems, certainly the article had enough to keep me entertained all the way through. I do have a couple of suggestions for you however. The first thing I would suggest you take a look at is that you may wish to consider relating the article's fictional Duke of Edinburgh award to the real life award in more ways than just structure, I am not suggesting that you go back and edit the article drastically, I am simply suggesting that you acknowledge the existence of the real life award. As I read the article I kept expecting some sort of reference to it and when one didn't appear I felt the article was worse off for it. The second thing I noticed was that the article repeats some of it's jokes, the most notable instance that I saw was of going abroad and spending other people's money, this joke crops up a fair number of times throughout the article, and while it is very appropriate for the context I couldn't help but feel that there were other jokes to be made. I was really enjoying the gradual progression of general laziness and pomposity between the 3 award stages, and was slightly disappointed when the same jokes cropped up again. Admittedly this is making it sound infinitely worse than it is, you should remember that these are just suggestions to help improve your article, as it is pretty impressive as it stands. The only other thing I noticed was the consistency of the idea that everyone is attempting to become Duke of Edinburgh, you seem to suggest in your third paragraph that the skill to be able to hike up a mountain is required for the award, yet you say later in the article that Physical exertion is to be avoided at all times. Just be certain to read through the article again to make sure you deal with any problems of consistency like this one.
Concept:	9	I really like the concept you have come up with and your execution is, for the most part, excellent. Your tone is pretty consistent throughout and my only point on it would be to do one final check to make sure that it is exactly as you wanted it. What I mean by that is that the narrative voice undergoes some change throughout the article and you should make sure that it is all intentional. The narrative voice adopts a much more upper class tone as the article goes on which makes for a slightly jarring contrast with the tone at the start of the article which sounds pretty normal. I would just encourage you to revisit this to make sure the tone is as you intended it to be throughout.
Prose and formatting:	8	Your prose and formatting was probably the weakest part of the article. The prose are OK, but I would emphasise the importance of proofreading carefully again, I noticed a couple of grammar problems and typos, you are capable of resolving all of these. I apologise for not correcting them myself, but I am working off a very slow internet connection. So I would recommend that you read through again carefully or, should you be overcome with laziness, get the proofreading service to do it for you. Your formatting is OK too, you have plenty of images and they break the text pretty well. The main problem with your formatting is that at several points in the article the text is squeezed in between two images, you have a lot of white space in the article so you should consider just shuffling them around a bit so the text is not squeezed between two at any point.
Images:	9	Absolutely superb image work, I feel harsh deducting the mark for your formatting, but that is the way I do these things. You should also make sure you remember your captions when you are checking your humour, your captions are excellent and I would only wish to see them change if you overhauled the tone massively, very well done on this.
Miscellaneous:	9	My overall grade of the article.
Final Score:	44	A deservedly high score, for an excellent article. I can only really find very small problems for you to fix here. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your article and when these minor problems are sorted it will be really good, so I would really urge you to work at them. If you have any questions or comments for me, feel free to leave them on my talk page. Good luck making any changes and well done.
Reviewer:	--ChiefjusticeDS 15:00, November 6, 2009 (UTC)