Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Obsessive-compulsive rhyming disorder -- Version 2.0

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Obsessive-compulsive rhyming disorder

This article has already been reviewed once by One-eyed Jack. He really liked the article, but his one major criticism of it was the lack of images. He also suggested some other (excellent) ideas to incorporate into the article. This new, updated version of the article is the result of all this, incorporating both a multitude of images and the ideas of OEJ to create a fuller whole. The reason I'm putting this back on Pee Review is because OEJ has not commented on the new version of the article (despite me mentioning the update on his talk page some days past), and I want to see if the update has made a difference. I've failed at VFH before (see MacBook), and I want this article to be as close to perfect as possible before I even think of trying again. Any and all criticisms and/or praise is welcome. I only ask that you be honest with your review. Thank you very much in advance! -- CUN PLS VFH (Miniluv•Minitrue•Unsoc) 22:27, 11 June 2007 (UTC)

Humour:	8	The humour in the rhyming in itself makes the article quite shining. The main criticism you may get (don't be upset) is that the article tries, that is, it relies, too much on rhyming alone. Read the article without thinking about the rhymes (no cheating - no mimes), and see if you can improve the humour. There are still some funny spots - such as the need to use creations such as "flangtabulation" or the difficulty in even making a baking grocery list. Where the rhyming itself is funniest - at its best - is where it gets a bit ridiculous-sounding: such as Rudolf Hess or being kicked in the head by a moose. (OK, here I give up on rhyming) You might want to do this in a few more places (though I wouldn't overuse ridiculousness, or the article as a whole will lose its effect). Maybe go out on a limb in one paragraph and use 10-12 rhymes, getting sillier throughout. Or string about 5 rhyming words in a row somewhere.
Concept:	9	Very funny idea. Might offend a Shia. (no, I said I was going to stop that!)
Prose and formatting:	8	Of course well done. The main weakness is in forced rhymes - it's stronger where you can use perfect ones. I also found that where the rhymes fit a meter, it reads smoother and helps the reader to feel the full force of the rhyme.
Images:	7	Your captions make the photos worthwhile.
Miscellaneous:	8	The alliterative section really adds to the effect.
Final Score:	40	Do you have access to a rhyming dictionary? It would make it easier to find more, and more complex, rhymes.
Reviewer:	Slithy Tove 06:38, 13 June 2007 (UTC)