Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/How to:Do Magic (quick)
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How to:Do Magic [edit source]
(note: moved to HowTo:Do Magic)[edit source]
Woof! 12:44, 10 August 2008 (UTC)
This article is under review by <font-weight:bold>Gerry Cheevers. Sayeth Gerry: shotgun!! |
this is my first 'quick' review, i'll try to keep it short while remaining helpful. 17:49, 11 August 2008 (UTC)
Humour: | 3 | hmmm well your article consists of mostly lists. which are frowned upon. it's quite random, with armies of guinea pigs and the like. it didn't really have any funny parts at all, it was just quite weird. it was also quite short; you should expand this into a full article with things like sections and paragraphs. |
Concept: | 4 | 4/5 points for a decently well-known subject - who doesn't want to amaze their friends with magic?
0/5 points for execution - you really don't have a clear theme, or any coherence at all. an article like this could use a lot of magic words ('alakazam', 'kadabra', and 'please' come to mind), for example. |
Prose and formatting: | 4 | you have three periods in your entire article. your format is basically three lists, with no other content. you have no links; use links (both direct, like this: bear, and indirect, like pointless) with reckless abandon. |
Images: | 0 | you lack images. try some nice, easy images of a magician, rabbit in a hat, etc. |
Miscellaneous: | 2.8 | averaged |
Final Score: | 13.8 | my preview button tells me that your score is 13.8, placing this article right around the VFD/QVFD range. i won't lie, in it's current state i doubt this article would not be deleted in another week or so. if you're serious about fixing it, throw {{contruction}} on it, and get to work. come up with some good instructions on how to perform magic, and turn it into paragraphs rather than lists. pick some sort of theme/concept (magic is real, magic is fake but you can fool people because they are stupid, etc.) and run with it. add some images. read HTBFANJS, more than once. with a little effort, you it can survive deletion. with a lot of effort, it can become a solid article. |
Reviewer: | 18:08, 11 August 2008 (UTC) |