Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Write an Uncyclopedia article without reading any of the rules or directions or manuals or policies first (waffles)

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HowTo:Write an Uncyclopedia article without reading any of the rules or directions or manuals or policies first

Another opinion. Sticking this here so Chief can give it a look over as well. *shifty eyes* Something on specifically the relation between the intro and the rest of it - is one of those still markedly better than the other? Is it the same one? Does the intro confuse? Is the rest of it funny? I mean... well, you know what to do. I'll shut up. 1234 ~ 08:40, 12 May 2011

Well, I`ve read this one, and I could have done this, but I really suck at making Pee Rewievs... Explanation, here. Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz 11:24, 12 May, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks, and thank you for the nomination, but I have already gotten a review from one who liked it... now I'm after the other side. One of the other sides. This thing seems to be full of sides... 1234 ~ 18:52, 12 May 2011

Just getting started now. Give me a couple of hours. --ChiefjusticeGameCube 14:15, May 13, 2011 (UTC)

Humour:	7	I am generally in two minds about this article, on the one hand I really like some of the jokes and that made me really want to like the rest of the article. That said there is something about the humour of your article that makes it very difficult for me to enjoy the humour as I would for many of my favourite articles. After giving this some thought it struck me that when you make a joke you have a tendency to try and get as much from it as you possibly can and that your general writing style lends itself to this idea. I'm not saying that your entire writing style is completely unsuitable for this sort of article as you do encourage humour very well in parts of the article. To illustrate this point consider the final paragraph of the section "Before You Start" here you have devoted 4 lines to a single joke that essentially finished and made its point after two. My feeling is that once you make the joke here; that if you have an account you need only forget everything that you have been told the paragraph could finish and I can move onto the next section, however the tendency you have to try to make your jokes longer, to get a second punchline or another joke in detracts from the original joke. Don't get me wrong I'm not highlighting this single paragraph as the cause for my uncertain feeling toward the article but rather using it to explain the problem I have with a lot of your humour throughout the article. If we consider the issue I describe above with one of my favourite parts from the article, where you say: "search deep within yourself, and inquire into the heart of your being, am I truly so lazy? If the answer is yes, good job; you're done. You have no more need for this guide." I laughed at the joke, you build up to it well and the humour is clever but once again it follows up with an additional sentence and an additional punchline, I realise that some people might enjoy this approach but my feeling is that it isn't necessary. Once again don't take from this that I think your article should be structured: joke, punchline, joke, non-sequitur, punchline, funny image of Dog in hat. I do think however that you should allow some of your jokes to end earlier and with less elaboration. My recommendation regarding this is simply that you take a second look through your article, identify where you are making a joke, decide where the laughs should be coming from and try and decide whether you are belabouring the point. The second aspect of your article I noticed also has to do with your writing, namely that your writing has a tendency to deviate from topic and then meander its way back. This approach is very effective in a number of successful comedic works but in a HowTo is not particularly necessary. In the majority of cases it is not necessary to remind the reader what they are reading since the whole article's purpose is laid out at the top of the article. If you were writing an article called "Uncyclopedia:Winning" and one of the rules/tips was not to read any of the rules or directions or manuals or policies then you may wish to restate that throughout the article, however in this case it is unnecessary and deleterious to the flow of your narrative. If that example is not particularly clear then it would be a bit like me reminding you that this is the humour section of the review and as such contains my advice about humour, it isn't really necessary since you can work out for yourself that this is the humour section of the review and it isn't such a great synapse leap to realise that the advice about humour is primarily contained here. Ultimately I feel the issues with your article lie within the way you are writing as opposed to what you are writing, you can write funny stuff but you need to take some time and come up with a way to better express it. You may also want to drop a few on the non-sequiturs, they are funny but the impact increases if you use them in moderation. If you scatter the narrative with them then the impact of the joke lessens and lessens and the more people start just hovering over the links to find out where you are linking to this time rather than appreciating the joke you were making.
Concept:	8	Your concept is generally good, your tone is consistent and you keep the article sounding like a guide throughout. My only suggestion on this is that you might wish to consider looking down on the reader a bit more. What I mean by this is not that you take on the tired idea of essentially calling the reader a moron every couple of paragraph but something a bit more subtle. I had trouble discerning the tone of the narrator, at times the narrator appears sarcastic towards the reader and at other times seems to want them to succeed. If you consider the final joke of the article, that the reader has used a guide for not using guides, you would expect a bit more sarcasm or contempt in the tone. At the moment it is difficult to discern which way you want to go with the tone for the narrator, my recommendation is that whatever you decide you are consistent with it.
Prose and formatting:	9	Just about perfect in this regard, my only issue is that as you get down towards the bottom of the page the images appear to be fighting to appear in the article and are crammed in a way that makes me feel like you had decided on your images before completing the article. I'd suggest removing the HowTo template or at least relocating it elsewhere as it seemed to be the crux of the problem and isn't actually accomplishing much. Otherwise this is absolutely fine as far as I can see.
Images:	9	Once again almost needing no changes at all, my only gripe here being that some of the captions, notably early on are quite long. Try to be a bit more concise with them, as with your humour try to decide whether what you are saying is all necessary and if so are you taking too many words to say it? That's all I have to suggest here, otherwise it's excellent.
Miscellaneous:	8	My overall grade of the article.
Final Score:	41	I spent a little while thinking about your overall grade here, you have written an excellent article which is more than deserving of a higher score, however, your writing style contains problems for your humour which puts me off. In my view you need to take a second look at your humour, you have the jokes and you have the material you just need to look at how you are presenting this to the reader. If you have any questions or comments about this review then you can usually find me on IRC, failing that leave a message on my talk page and I will respond. Good luck making any changes.
Reviewer:	--ChiefjusticeGameCube 15:20, May 13, 2011 (UTC)