Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Resurrect The Career Of A 1980s Television Or Film Star
HowTo:Resurrect The Career Of A 1980s Television Or Film Star[edit source]
Right, second edit. Should be better than the first. Tkotse 20:55, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
- Sycamore is pissing, don't look or else he won't be able to go--Sycamore (Talk) 13:30, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
- Sycamore has relieved himself--Sycamore (Talk) 20:33, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
| Humour: | 5 | although I hat being to harsh, it is too bitty and is more or less a list of quotes. It may be the case that the concept is too thin and you don’t have enough to say. (For me) the humour needs to be in connection to specific figures. you've done that with Chuck Norris and Larry Hagman but it needs a lot of expansion to make it work. As a suggestion, it may also work to he fictional actors that have been done over by the famous ones. It’ll certainly add to the idea. |
| Concept: | 2 | Although I am sympathetic to the idea of taking the piss out of eighties movie/television stars, I don't see that this works as it is perhaps too random and vague- have you considered broadening the concept to include burnt out celebrities from all eras? |
| Prose and formatting: | 2 | I cannot really see how this is a complete article (this is only my opinion), it needs sections that define and takes the piss, characters help as well as prose as opposed to lots of quotes. You could leave a lot of the quotes in as some pages work well with loads of quotes I.E Blade Runner. |
| Images: | 7 | Although a few of the doctored are a little poor; I like the screen shot use and I have seen this used well in other articles, definitely something to keep. Although flawed I think this is your strongest area |
| Miscellaneous: | 8 | If you add more prose adding to your idea this article may turn out pretty good, without sounding too snotty, maybe look on wikipedia about eighties film stars- remember the truth is always funnier than fiction. |
| Final Score: | 24 | I hope that my review has been helpful, although I have been critical I do think you should keep working on your page, particularly if you really get stuck in. :) |
| Reviewer: | --Sycamore (Talk) 20:33, 7 April 2008 (UTC) | |
Hmm, mind if I add something? First, I'd be careful about using too many quotes, as touched on above - a lot of quotes rarely helps an article - it suggests you don't have enough ideas to sustain the joke without them. My suggestion is to use the quote template sparingly, and make more of the quotes part of the prose itself, which will help with my second point: there's a lot of white space, and not much article in it. This could be compressed into about a third of the space. As a more compact article, it will look more readable, and less like a list (lists don't play well on here, in general). Third, don't spend too much time on memey types like Chuck Norris and MrT unless you have to - people are getting bored of them. Instead, pull in other 80s starts - there's plenty to play with.
Finally, spend time looking at HTBFANJS and some featured How To articles, to get some inspiration. I'm not suggesting you steal ideas, but they may help with structure and layout and pacing of content etc. And HTBFANJS is a great place for ideas - our best writers still read it regularly. Hope that helps as well! (And Sycamore, don't think I'm treading on your toes, I have been known to do drive-by review comments like this on a few occasions!) --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 21:29, Apr 7