Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Godzilla vs. Jaws

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Godzilla vs. Jaws

Don't know what to say... just be a good reviewer please :P ~Fag x FS

Godzilla vs. Jaws is being reviewed by CajekHi! Your Source for Fine Scented Pee And Whatever Else Comes Out Of Him

IRC request --  Le Cejak • <-> (Dec 4 @ 20:07)

Humour:	5	omg this article is crazy looking! score avg of all sections... if this even has sections Intro [6] Holy crap. Seriously. HOLY CRAP. I thought my articles were weird. I, uh, want you to clean this section up. Even though I knew what was going on and laughed most of the way through, there's a serious problem with flow. Here, let me explain: I don't think Japan is known for Starbucks... That was weird and threw me off. What does Apple have to do with Japan? (btw, I own many Macs :D) Okay, I get japan now, because of Godzilla. Jaws being in japan threw me off, too. You have to be VERY CLEAR THAT JAWS IS NOW IN JAPAN. I guess you're trying to tell us a story? Anyway, next section... Advert break! [4] Way too random now. Let me see, where to begin? I won't begin, actually. I want you to go through this very long section and, sentence by sentence, delete anything that doesn't have to do with: Jaws Godzirra Japahn And that includes the advertisement. It looks good, but it doesn't make sense. Remember: what does it have to do with Jaws, Godzirra, or Japahn? Another advert break! *sigh* [5] Same basic disagreements that I had in the other section. I suppose it was a little less random this time, but the idea is still the same: remove randomness. I want these articles to be (1) SHORT AND (2) SWEET. You have so much material here that you could go trimming not only for randomness but for funniness too. I usually don't recommend that, but you should really go through line by line and trim for humor. Sequels coming soon to a box office near you... [Delete] Get rid of any and all rishts, pweese. Tank you! :)
Concept:	4	It's hard for articles with two or more topics to have "good concept" working material because there are now TWO ways for it to fail, you see? Also, you didn't choose the classiest concepts to begin with. If the two concepts are good, such as in HowTo:Turn Your Computer On (Word play+computers), then the concepts can play with each other, if they're nice. In this article, because they are the same basic thing (two monsters), there are two things wrong: They're fairly dissimilar, even though they're from the same basic category. They have two different stories to tell that in the mind of the reader don't come together very well. They're both going to have to have some kind of physical humor to be funny. Physical humor usually doesn't work.
Prose and formatting:	5	This article is very difficult to read. I think your score would go up if the article was half this size and didn't have the advertisements all over the place.
Images:	7	Just for that one Dave Chappelle image. The rest should be thrown out. Here's an image just for this review that I think you'll find entertaining...:
Miscellaneous:	5.3	Score averaged
Final Score:	26.3	I believe I covered all the bases. Make the article shorter and skip anything that doesn't have to do with the main idea. As it is now, it's okay for your early articles, but please take this lesson to heart. By the way, 1 out of about 10 of my articles get deleted before even getting on VFD, so don't feel bad! :D I hope I helped, keep up the good work, Fag!
Reviewer:	Le Cejak • <-> (Dec 4 @ 23:50)