Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Frederick The Great
User:Lost ESheep/Frederick The Great[edit source]
Lost ESheep 21:46, February 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Might want to move the article from your user page into a new page --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)
13:51, February 6, 2011 (UTC)
- Aye, putting it on a user subpage, say User:Lost ESheep/Frederick The Great, would probably be a good idea for now. You can copy the contents or move the entire page, but the effects should be about the same; people go to your userpage looking for you, not necessarily your article... though links to your articles are generally a good idea there. ~
05:39, 11 February 2011
- Have no fear, IWKY333 is here. You're article is in good hands--
- I should have this done soon---
15:15, February 12, 2011 (UTC)
- crap, I got caught up with some personal issues. luckily, I'm about 85% done, so it won't be too long.
- I should have this done soon---
- Have no fear, IWKY333 is here. You're article is in good hands--
- Aye, putting it on a user subpage, say User:Lost ESheep/Frederick The Great, would probably be a good idea for now. You can copy the contents or move the entire page, but the effects should be about the same; people go to your userpage looking for you, not necessarily your article... though links to your articles are generally a good idea there. ~
--- 
02:19, February 13, 2011 (UTC)
| Humour: | 5 | After reading the entire article, I have to say I'm quite impressed with what I read. Although there are a couple of thing s that downplays the article, I was actually quitepleased with most of it. After looking up Frederick the great, I saw that you've done your research, and used that information well. That's something that only 45% of new users actually do (in my opinion).
The major drawback of the is the fact that you use randomness alot (Hello Kitty, Smarties). It does not work out because it ruins the professionalism of the article. It can work, but, in the words of BlackFlamingo (another user on this site) you need to be consistant. Check this article out; it has randomness but uses it in a way that works out. Also, try to keep stuff in the proper time line. I personally find it annoying when people don't because it just makes the article look less like it would in the past. You could however, and I prefer this, is have words link to other existing articles that you desire. This way it still tells the joke, and therefore you won't hae to completely remove it. Now let's talk about that trivia list at the end of the article. The thing is, lists are hardly funny because they 1)are overused, and 2)just rush over the jokes, ruining the flow of the article. While it's possible for a list to work out, I'd advise that you refrain from using them as much as possible. Instead of using lists, use sections to explain trivia facts, and go indepth to explain them. That way the facts are used without ruining the flow. Get what I mean? I do like the Farther being high and all, but don't use Smarties (as I mentioned above) Perhaps use something that could be a forerunner to cigarettes. And try not to make it too obvious that he's high, just enough so that the reader knows what you going at. |
| Concept: | 7 | You got a prety good idea going on here, and despite the problems mentioned above it will definitly be a piece of work after much work. And in terms of tone, for the most part you stook wih a encyclopedic tone, but at least once I saw a break from third person one to firs, and that's not advisable, so jus stick with one tone. |
| Prose and formatting: | 10 | Your article's spelling and grammar seem pretty good. But should you be in doubt about spelling and grammar, just place a proofread template on top and someone from our proofreading service would come and find as well as fix any mistake while you kick back and relax, free of charge. It's that simple! |
| Images: | 6 | You got two, and while they support your article, they aren't very humorous. Luckily, that's why we have captions, yet you probaly should work on them as they arent they funny either. I give you a six because I truly think the article could use a bit more. |
| Miscellaneous: | 7 | My average grade of this article. |
| Final Score: | 35 | I think you got a pretty good idea going on here; it just needs a little love. Make those improvements and it'll be good as new. Feel free to ask me any questions on my talk page. |
| Reviewer: | --- 12:52, February 13, 2011 (UTC)
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