UnNews:World unsure if their viewpoints are real
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This news article was created by a rogue reporter who thought it would be funny to post this up and has since been fired. We are sorry and we hope other news organizations will follow our lead. THE MANAGEMENT |
Tuesday, August 29, 2017
For the longest time, people have been kept up to date through the media and throughout time it evolved. Newspapers gave way to radio and TV, those gave way to the internet and the internet may give way to something but I don't know what can replace the most complicated thing to ever exist throughout mankind. Now the world is completely unsure if any of their viewpoints are real thanks to a newspaper article suggesting that any form of visual and/or audible media have been broadcasting various patterns and sounds to program thoughts and opinions into their minds throughout history.
The people around the world are shocked at this revelation; everything has been put into doubt including the moon landing, the nuclear bomb in Hiroshima, Japan, the crack epidemic and yes, the recent rally in Charlottesville leaving lots of people dead. We've asked one person who was in shock after reading the newspaper article and he had this to say...
| “ | "I just can't believe it; I didn't know that a bunch of flashing patterns and sounds could influence an entire person's life. For so long I've watched Walter Cronkike on the CBS Evening News and he was talking about space exploration and civil rights and he was so real; now I don't know if they were even my own opinions, I don't even know if Walter Cronkike is a real person or just somebody that CBS created through the use of hypnotism. My world has gone to pieces" | ” |
Conversely, we couldn't let one side hog the spotlight so we asked another side and she had this to say...
| “ | "This is just another example of old media trying to entrench itself into culture again. We have all the sources we need right here on my smartphone and I can just pull up my smartphone and get all the news I need! Look at this news article here, it says that an Obama supporter just verbally threatened and beat up a black man just because. Isn't the world fucked up? Thank goodness I put my vote where it counts and thank goodness the internet delivers me the stories that matter to me!" | ” |
We had our guy then look at the internet, watch the TV and listen to the radio to see what the response would be and oddly enough; nothing of the newspaper article appeared and our guy started talking about "antifa being extreme terrorists" and "the US needing to pull out of NAFTA". It appeared that on reddit; the only stories that appeared on the front page were mainly opinion pieces about the trust and value of channels like Fox News and sites like Briebart compared to newspaper media which is "biased and unfair", the comments on those posts mainly consisted of shitty one liners by people who have never ventured out of other subreddits and lengthy, logical comments debunking the opinion pieces were downvoted and squashed with heavily upvoted comments that called the commenters "gay for KILLary" and "it made my brain hurt".
When we asked reddit staff if the site was compromised, they replied that "there is no way anybody would waste time creating and maintaining accounts for years just to manipulate the community, that'd be absurd!" despite the front page being filled with anti-newspaper opinion pieces.
What's odder is that soon after the newspaper piece was published, the newspaper issued a retraction stating that "an editor had fabricated an article about the media stating that the world was being controlled." continuing on that "he has been fired for this gross negligence of his duties, we regret that our readers had to suffer through that ordeal". A couple days after that, my fellow UnNews staffers started acted strange talking about the need for "police to roam the streets 24/7" and that "a nuclear war is necessary to defend our country from North Korea" making me suggest that they have been brainwashed by the same media that the newspaper article reported about...
I don't know if there's some giant worldwide conspiracy going on but I'm hoping that this article gets picked up by everybody in the world and distributed to every nook and cranny. I may not make it out of my office but I'm hoping that this article will hopefully open some peoples eyes as to what is going on.