UnNews:West Hollywood to ban Liza costumes as "too scary"

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

25 October 2006

Liza way too scary for Halloween bash.

WEST HOLLYWOOD, California -- The West Hollywood City Council announced Wednesday that anyone dressing up as superstar diva Liza Minelli for the Annual Halloween Street Parade will be subject to fines and possible jail time because even drag imitations of her have been deemed "too damned scary" for the general public.

The street parade is a yearly event in the city, which boasts a large gay population. As many as 10,000 participants take to Santa Monica Boulevard in wild, gender-bending and sexually risque costumes. Drag queens are particularly enthusiastic, mimicking their favorite female superstars from past and present, including Marilyn Monroe, Barbra Streisand, and Elizabeth Taylor.

This year, however, if you try to go as Liza Minelli, you could end up in the "pokey."

"We reviewed the situation carefully and looked at a number of different options," said West Hollywood Sheriff, Mason Dingley. "We just couldn't find any case in which a Liza Minelli costume would not be too frightening to the community at large, possibly creating a civil control situation."

Larry Spunkman, president of the West Hollywood chapter of the Liza Fan Club, disagreed. "I still think there are costumes, mostly focusing on her around the time of 'Cabaret,' or maybe 'Arthur', when her image is perhaps terror-inducing, but still tolerable."

Dingley pointed out that along with the gays, transvestites and other various weirdos, children and families also attend the event, and while some Liza portrayals may be tolerated by adults, they would certainly traumatize children, and possibly pets.

Similar legislation was also considered against Debbie Reynolds costumes.