UnNews:Venezuela's Chavez calls Obama "donkey puncher"

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23 March 2009

"Just as Harold created a purple pie picnic when he got hungry on his journey, so shall I use my people's spirit as a human shield against Unites states' aggression!

CARACAS, Venezuela - Bizarro President Hugo Chavez said on Sunday that US President Barack Obama was at best an "ignoramus", and at worst a "donkey puncher" for saying the socialist leader is a "sissified, cantankerous old coot with something jagged up his ass."

"He goes and accuses me of having a limp wrist? Of being old and silly? Of strange Yankee sex thing with my buttocks? The least I can say is that he's a poor ignoramus; he should read and study a little to understand reality," said Chavez, who heads a group of left-wing Latin American leaders opposed to the U.S. influence in the region.

"The most I can say", continued the windbag goat blower, "is that he and his chupacabra friends in Washington are playing plotice from a position of weakness, with such ad hominem attacks a pitiful last resort against being outshone by my person!"

Chavez said Obama's comments had made him change his mind about sending a new ambassador to Washington, after he withdrew the previous envoy in a dispute last year with the Bush administration in which he also expelled the U.S. ambassador to Venezuela, calling him a "poopy head".

Chavez' Minister of Press Umberto Quesadilla later explained to his President that the Venezuela paper El Nacional had misattributed remarks by MC Hammer about Little Richard, and what Obama actually said was that he "exported terrorism and obstructed progress in Latin America".

In a January interview with Spanish-language U.S. network Univision, Obama said Chavez had hindered progress in Latin America, accusing him of exporting terrorist activities and supporting Colombian guerrillas.

"My, what ignorance; the real obstacle to development in Latin America has been the empire that you today preside over," said Chavez, who is a fierce critic of U.S. foreign policy.

In the 20th century the United States supported several armed movements and coups in Latin America. Chavez says Washington had a hand in a short-lived putsch against him in 2002, which was initially welcomed by U.S. officials.

Sources

• Binkey "Sidesaddle" Albumin "Hugo Chavez resorts to bad language" El Chupacrabra Daily, March 23, 2009