UnNews:Trump's Taken audition leaked

Sunday, February 2, 2025

Donald Trump, smoking a cigarette and holding a Yorick skull for some reason, utters the line "Stella!" while auditioning for the film Taken in early 2007.

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early 20 years after the release of Liam Neeson's geriatric action hit Taken, an audition tape by now-President Donald Trump has been leaked. The account LostAuditions97 uploaded the VHS footage onto YouTube Thursday, where it has racked up 100 million views at last count.

The then-Apprentice host is seen wearing a white wife-beater T-shirt, smoking a cigarette, holding his slides in one hand and — curiously — Yorick's skull from Hamlet in the other. Most of the lines he utters aren't even from the film. Throughout the tape, Trump can be heard shouting the following lines:

• "I am your father!"
• "No wire hangers ever!"
• "Use the Force, Luke."
• "Yo, Adrian!"
• "To be or not to be? What kind of stupid question is that?"
• "You talkin' to me? Stupid question, of course you are. Who the hell else would you be talking to?"
• "O Captain, my Captain!"
• "Rosebud!"
• "They Texas Chainsaw Massacred my boy!"
• "You shall not pass Go!"
• "Oh, hi, Mark!"
• "You're gonna need a bigger boat."
• "I'll have what she's having."

The only line actually from the movie that Trump says is "I will find you and I will kill you."

He spends the final 25 minutes repeating the line "Stella!" despite the fact that none of the characters go by that name. Marlon Brando reportedly turned over in his grave, despite the fact that he was cremated.

UnNews got in touch with the producers and even casting director Ferne Cassel about this viral audition. Cassel put it bluntly, "Mr. Trump lacked a specific set of skills. Namely empathy, an indoor voice, restraint, subtlety, nuance, professionalism, intelligence, common sense, or even the sides we gave him."

Producer Luc Besson added "He was just about to recite the 'Tears in Rain' monologue before we escorted him out of the building."

Dementia-afflicted Trump responded by saying "I've never seen that audition before in my life. I never auditioned for Taken, never would have. Overrated movie. I haven't liked Leslie Nielsen (sic) one bit since he did that far-left Democrat propaganda Schindler's List. Spielberg couldn't even bother shooting it in color!"

He continued: "You know what? Actually, it would have been a much better movie if they'd cast my good friend Hannibal Lecter. I love Hannibal, love that guy. He would have eaten the competition for lunch! Now if you'll excuse me, I have some tariffs to issue and some brains to rot."

Taken was released January 30, 2009 in the United States and February 27 in France. It grossed $226.8 million on a $25 million budget.

Sources

• Bill Palmer "“We will find you and we will kill you” – Donald Trump goes on his most unhinged bender yet" Palmer Report, February 1, 2025