UnNews:Tony Blair embraces nudism
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
16 January 2007
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LONDON, England - Prime Minister Tony Blair has embraced nudism.
In his spare time, at his home at 10 Downing Street, Blair doffs his clothes, preparing meals, gardening, and performing other routine tasks and chores in the nude.
“He has a cute derrière,” Winifred Harrington, a neighbor says. “It’s dimpled.”
Blair kept details of his private life secret until recently. However, he has come out recently as a long-time, albeit closeted, nudist. Some believe that his disclosure of his nudism results from the long-term pressure under which he has executed his duties as the United Kingdom’s chief executive officer.
“The Iraq thing has been hard on Tony,” fellow nudist Henry Hyde says, “and nudism is a great way to let it all hang out, both literally and figuratively. After a weekend in the nude, he feels hale and hearty again and is able to pretend once more to agree with President Bush on Iraq and other matters.”
Although Blair sometimes goes without underclothes while he performs his official duties, he goes naked only at home. “He has a sense of propriety,” Hyde declares.
Rumors that Prince Charles and his late wife, Princess Diana, sometimes joined the prime minister in indulging in Blair’s favorite pastime activity are unfounded, sources contend. However, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Madonna sometimes join him for nude tea. “The young ladies look particularly impish with china teacups balanced on their knees as they nibble at pastries, naked all the while,” Blair’s butler, Jeremy Ludd told Uncyclopedia reporter Lotta Lies.
“It’s fun and sexy,” Blair admitted, “but, mostly, for me, nudism is a way of relaxing. After posturing in three-piece suits all day, claiming to believe half a dozen or more absurd things so as to maintain relations with George Bush, it feels good to be naked. A nude man has nothing to hide and nowhere to hide it, so nudity keeps me honest, at least when I’m alone or in the presence of a few good friends.”
Queen Elizabeth said she believes Blair needs psychiatric treatment and is seeking to have him committed to a mental institution. “It could be worse, though,” Her Majesty admits. “Tony could be a cross dresser like Charles.”
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- Lotta Lies "No nudes would be good news" Instant News, 21.8 seconds ago