UnNews:Scientists link food and obesity

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21 December 2006

Drs. Michaels and Winkomb discover link between obesity and being a lazy glutton.

WASHINGTON - Maybe it's the food making you fat, you lard ass! Researchers found a strong connection between obesity and the levels of food in your mouth and gut. That could mean that someday there will be novel new ways of treating obesity that go beyond the standard advice of taking trucker speed.

According to two studies being published in Thursday's issue of the journal Nature, both obese mice and people had food in their mouths and stomachs that contributed to their huge, fat asses and stomachs.

"This 'food presence' appears to contribute to obesity," said study lead author Jeffrey Gordon, director of Washington University's Center for Genome Sciences. "Look at those starving Africans," he said. "You don't see any of them weighing a quarter-ton from their diet of locusts and undigested rice picked from cattle dung."

Researchers still aren't sure if more food makes you fat or if people who are obese simply eat more food. But growing evidence of this link gives scientists a potentially new and still distant way of fighting obesity: remove the food from fat people and they will get skinny, provide more food to starving people and they will gain weight.

"We are getting more and more evidence to show that obesity has to do with more food and less activity," said Nikhil Dhurandhar, a professor of infection and obesity at Louisiana State University's Pennington Biomedical Research Center.

"It isn't just that you're just big-boned or genetically predisposed. You're just a fat, lazy fuck."

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