UnNews:Nader campaign voices concerns over spoiler effect

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6 April 2008

Will the Democrats cost Nader the election once again?

WASHINGTON, DC - In a press conference today, the Nader Campaign has voiced its concerns that the Democrats may, once again, siphon votes away from Ralph Nader in the November election.

Years afterwards, many liberals and Nader supporters still blame the Democrats for Nader's losses in his attempts for President, citing Gore and Kerry as "spoilers" for taking votes that likely would have gone to Nader otherwise. They frequently argue that, had the Democrats not run, many of their liberal votes would have gone to Nader.

"It's preposterous," local lesbian and Democrat Hillary Clinton told our reporter. "We're the Democrats, we are the ones that are clearly entitled to all liberal votes, not Nader. He's obviously arrogant and egotistical, because he thinks otherwise.". Local half-honkey, all-donkey Barack Obama agreed, stating "Hope change hope hope change, I have a near-identical platform to Hillary, hope change hope, and, hope, even though I'm bought by, change hope, wealthy interests, hope, by saying hope and change enough, I'm totally different from all the other historically, hope change, corporate Democrats.".

Nader defended his position, saying "the polls show the majority of the American people agree with my platform on Universal Health Care, corporate crime, impeaching Bush and Cheney, and the military budget. Logically, if the Democrats had not run, I would have received the majority of votes, and won the election." Most polls agree with the Nader campaign that, had the Democrats not run, Nader would have likely received the majority of votes that had gone to the Democrats, resulting in a victory for Nader.

Sources

Nerds Who Deserve Torment and Mockery (i.e. Uncyclopedians) "This Article Gave Nader a Raging Hard-On" Uncyclopedia, April 03, 2008