UnNews:Muslim kills Muslim in 'protest over Syria'
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
25 May 2013
Two Islamic extremists have been arrested after hacking a Muslim to death with a machete and a meat cleaver, apparently as a protest against the murder of Muslims around the world at the hands of other Muslims.
Most shockingly, video footage of one of the suspects, Michael Adebayor, speaking in the immediate aftermath of the killing, was released online.
"We swear by the Almighty Allah we will never stop fighting us until we leave us alone," he said, clutching the murder weapon in his bloodied hands. "The only reasons we have done this is because Muslims are dying every day at the hands of other Muslims. In Syria. In Iraq. In Darfur. In Afghanistan. This is an eye for an eye, a tooth for tooth.
Adebayor went on, "We apologise that women had to see this today but in our lands our women have to see the same because we are killing each other there. You people will never be safe. By which I mean us."
Adebayor was born in Britain to a strict Christian Nigerian family, but later converted to Islam. Acquaintances say that he became more radicalised after being tortured trying to enter Somalia. He then returned to the UK, describing Africa as "just ghastly" on his entertaining blog, and has nurtured an increasing hatred for other Muslims.
Police chiefs were said to be upset that the video was leaked. "This is exactly what the killers wanted," one source told us. "They killed a Muslim in the hope that other Muslims will get upset and kill others in turn. There's widespread concern that this will lead to a spate of Muslim-on-Muslim attacks, and these things are difficult to prevent, because it could be Shi'ite on Sunni, Iraqi on Irani, anything."
Speaking from prison, however, an unrepentant Adebayor said, "I am confident that the eye-for-an-eye policy will lead to a constructive solution sooner or later."