UnNews:Man has different opinion on Wales' geography

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11 December 2006

Upside-down Wales, left, and an artists vision of Jones' 'monster'.

CARDIFF, WALES- Geographers worldwide were intrigued today, as Welshman Pog Jones released his 'theory' on the geography of Wales. The theory, part of Jones' new book, The Big Country, argues that the shape of Wales resembles not a pig, but a 'sort of Orc, or monster, shouting'.

An extract from the book explains, "When a usual map of Wales is turned 'upside-down', as it would be viewed from the North Pole, the viewer is shown a whole new take on the geography of Wales. They will see it no longer resembles the iconic Welsh pig, but in fact resembles a sort of Orc, or monster, shouting."

"I.. sort of see it," remarked professional geographer Henry Mappe, Ph.D, "it's like an ugly baby, screaming. Or Wayne Rooney. Haha, look, doesn't it look like Wayne Rooney? That's amazing."

Although some experts such as Henry Mappe, Ph. D, agreed with the theory, others did not. "What in God's name are you talking about?" asked Wilhelm Moore, Professor of Geography at Oxford University, "it looks more like Shrek to me."

US geographer's vision of an upside-down USA

This new alternative of viewing maps has caused a sensation in the world of modern geography, and spawned several copycat theories. Mabutu Cazutto, an Italian geographer, has since argued that Italy, when viewed upside-down, resembles "some weird kind of claw.. thing..", whereas American geographer Avery Texington has shown that the USA, when viewed upside-down, "really looks like a Whale. See, Texas is the big fin, Washington's Puget Sound is the mouth bit, and Florida stretching down to Maine is the tail. See?"

Pog Jones, who still thinks of himself as a 'humble' geographer, is pleased with the sensation caused by his new geographical theory. "Well, I didn't think my theory would take off like this. I'm going to be a millionaire!" said Jones, who then excused himself to purchase a yacht. His book, The Big Country, is in stores now.