UnNews:Malaysian forms peculiar analogies

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

27 March 2009

Aziz's claims have left German lovers of Kälbsbrann puzzling over exactly what it is they've been eating all these years.

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia -- A top Muslim cleric in the increasingly fundamentalist south-east Asian Islamic state - which has recently passed a fatwa banning smoking - has stated that Muslims who smoke and then claim to be pious are worse than cows that defecate in the street. All in all, a claim which falls somewhat short of the wisdom and poetry to be found in the Koran.

Imam Nik Aziz, leader of Malaysia's Pan-Islamic Party, also said that cows have no brains while making his rather odd claim, suggesting that he is unaware of Islam's long tradition of anatomical study and scientific excellence which was for many centuries far in advance of that of the Judaeo-Christian world.

In a speech riddled with peculiar analogies, Mr. Aziz also revealed his belief that Muslims who eat apples are no better than cats that climb trees, that so-called holy people who look at buildings are akin to birds that are familiar with the smell of a freshly-extinguished candle and that anyone who finds that they become wet after contact with water is worth less than a squirrel that consumes nuts while sitting within the vicinity of a field. Presumably, the smoking ban only applies to tobacco.

Sources

• "Muslim smokers seen "worse than cows"" Yahoo News, March 27, 2009