UnNews:J. Lo to promote new album

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

29 March 2007

The Southside Bronx, New York - Dancer, Actress, "Singer", crappy tipper and total bitch. These words and more have been used to describe the threat that is Jennifer Lopez.

J. Lo, seen in this pic, is just like her fans. All wet.

Yesterday, Jennifer Lopez spent some time in the Bronx, a place she has claimed to hail from many times, to promote her all Spanish album "Como Ama una Mujer," Loosely translated, the title means "I am the Most Important Person on This Planet." This album has already shocked the world by proving Lopez knew more than 10 Spanish words.

Much to the delight of the five people in attendance, she was accompanied by her husband, Marc Antony. It is a fact her husband helped produce the record. Which husband though remains a mystery.

Said J. Lo of this album, "It touches my heart to be able to bring this album back to my neighborhood. Not only that, but I find it very flattering that with all the crappy music being made by Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Brooke Hogan, Gwen Stefani and Fergie people still want to waste their money on my music ese!" J. Lo will also be appearing in two hispanic themed movies later this year (2007). "Bordertown", is a film about a town on the U.S./Mexican border. In her other upcoming film, "El Cantante" she takes on the role of Puerto Rican salsa singer Hector Lavoe.

"I just want you all to remember that I'm famous, er... real. I meant to say real and that I love myself. You all! I said you all. Aw, fuck this shit, I'm outta here!" J. Lo told fans before leaving the small record store and then moving onto the Virgin Megastore located at 1540 Broadway.

Sources

• "J.Lo Promotes New Album in the Bronx" The Associated Press, March 28, 2007