UnNews:Fox cancels more shows

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

9 March 2006

The Fox Broadcasting Company (also called FOX), a subsidiary of the Fox Entertainment Group, confirmed today the cancellation of three more television series.

Dear God, why is it still on the air!

The Fox Broadcasting Company has a long history of controversial decisions in regard to its broadcasting practices. It has cancelled wildly popular shows like Firefly, while keeping wildly stale shows like The Simpsons for decades. It has cancelled series' like Manchester Prep before the first episodes are aired, and it has sent good shows like Sliders and Family Guy to pointless production and broadcasting on minor cable networks, just for the hell of it!

Amid booing and threats on his life, CEO and NAMBLA member Rupert Murdoch confirmed rumors that Fox was cancelling production and broadcasting of its hit unrealtiy show American Idol, citing budgeting problems, lack of interest, and his personal dislike of Ryan Seacrest as the main reasons. When an alleged lovers tiff between Murdoch and Seacrest was voiced, Murdoch reportedly broke down in tears and had to leave the press conference momentarily. The final episode is scheduled to premiere on Fox on April 4th, 2006.

Also confirmed as cancelled was Kindred: The Embraced. Murdoch was quoted as saying, "Yes, it has been cancelled for nine years. Yes, the leading man is dead. Yes, there is no hope of it ever resuming production. But we just felt we had the obligation to rub the fans' noses in it again. Oh Snap! It's never coming back! Hahaha!" He was then observed doing a little dance.

The most shocking announcement of the evening however, was the cancellation of the top rated CBS series CSI. "We don't actually broadcast it, own it, own any production company involved in making it, nor have contractual control over any of the cast or crew, but we felt it was time to retire this show. It has run its course." When flabbergasted reporters asked what gave him the right to decide the fate of other networks' shows, Murdoch replied "Fox is the ultimate adjudicator in the fate of television shows!" He then kicked over the podium and ran off.

Several totally pointless and ineffectual online petitions have been formed to revive the cancelled shows.

Sources

• Your mom "O'REILLY?" CNN, March 02, 2006