UnNews:Cash sandwich invented
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
27 April 2013
A 19-year-old boy in Vermont has invented the world's first ever Cash sandwich.
Jerry Lee Gordon, father of three, has been praised for his ingenuity and creativity by the sandwich community. Soviet Russian Sandwich said "It was an idea not even the greatest minds could think of. This young lad is clearly going places." Reverse Sandwich also complimented the invention. "Isaac Newton, Plato and Albert Einstein, three of the best thinkers this planet has ever seen and now Jerry Lee Gordon is up there with them.
Gordon's mother also spoke to UnNews. "I know he looks dumb, stupid and a bit psychopathic, but on the inside he is dense, idiotic and extremely violent."
Gordon's father left him at age of five, but we tracked him down to Miami. Harvey Gordon, 58, was very impressed. "This is brilliant. A Cash sandwich? A fucking Cash sandwich? I fucking love cash. Herbert, go find me a cash sandwich."
We spoke to Jerry about his endeavours and he said "It was a spur of the moment thing. I was making a cheese sandwich, you know, and then I accidentally put some cash in it. I bit it and I was like 'This is some weird cheese', but when I took a second look, it turned out to be cash."
Lee Gordon is now distributing his sandwiches everywhere except North Korea, and they are massive hit in Africa.
Akinde Johno, 24, from Uganda, said "It is great. I pay $4 for sandwich and I get $60 back. It's good idea."
However, it is not good for Jerry. Although they might be success, they are getting hardly any profit. "I know it's bad," he said "I think we're gonna have to reduce the cash inside the sandwich."
Harvey Gordon was furious at the news "Herbert, go fuck that sandwich, I'm thankful I left that stupid kid and his whore mother!"
Flavours come in $1, $5, $10, $20, $50, $60, &100 and $137.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- IFYMB!, "Gang Of Thieves Caught Out After Posting 'Cash Sandwich' Picture On Facebook" The Huffington Post, 26 April 2013