UnNews:Campaign of cliches coming to an end

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

2 March 2008

Cleveland Ohio UNN - With the Ohio, Texas and Rhode Island primaries scheduled for Tuesday, March 4, 2008, the war of words between the Clinton and Obama campaigns is expected to cool down as what has been dubbed the Campaign of Clichés all but comes to an end.

Polls have shown that “the race is neck and neck, to close to call and a travesty of clichés,” said The Ohio State University’s Dr. LeMar Norquist, head of the schools Cliché Department.

“This is going to be a photo finish – one for the record books! If I were going to put my money on who is going to win I’d be kidding myself and pulling the wool down over your eyes,” comment Norquist on who he thought would win.

Talking heads and political pundits have called both campaigns on the carpet – ney – have taken both campaigns to the woodshed for the excessive use of clichés in this campaign. Norquist agrees.

“Mercy Maude, Heavens to Besty and Heavans to Murgatroid they have been pulling one cliché out their hats after another! I can’t remember since Christ on the Cross when so many have owed so much to so few. Why they are doing this is a mystery wrapped in a riddle surrounded by an enigma. Neither side in this is lily white mind you.”

Drake McHue, a columnist for the Cleveland Plain Dealer disagrees with Norquist. "LeMar's just blowing smoke up your ass. He's a great guy, don't get me wrong, but every dog has his day, and who is to say that tongues are wagging with idel chatter going on behind ones back. This is just your usual bully kicking sand in the wimps face - thats all."

NBC’s Tim Russert is even alarmed with the lowering of the rhetorical bar in the American lexicon. “I don’t think we are at the point of throwing the baby out with the bathwater quite yet, but I can tell you that both sides are sending mixed smoke signal metaphors that say 'to the victor go the spoils.' ”

“What we have seen is a robust use of clichés as a crutch, but we are getting dangerously close to letting Monday Morning Quarterbacks turning this horse of a different color into and by and large a hidden agenda for the dark side,” commented the commentator.

Sources

• Associated Press "[www.dumbass.com Fuck you Hillary Eat shit Barrack]" Yahoo! News, February 02, 2007