UnNews:2013 UnNews Review: August

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20 December 2013
In August, little Teddy Snowden continued to wait at Moscow airport, but his first foray into Russian literature completely bummed him out.

Fellow leak-merchant Bradley Manning announced to the world he was now a she - Chelsea - and authorities were quick to point out he would settle in well in prison.

It was not a good month to be black, with richest black woman ever Oprah Winfrey being treated badly in a snooty shop and a judge in Tennessee denying a young black kid the right to be called Messiah.

Ariel Castro, he of the Ohio basement abductions, publicly mocked his victims' concept of celestial justice. Fortunately, he was to hang himself soon after.

Castro's soul, if it exists, may take solace from the fact that, after a while, no one gives a damn, as evidenced by the excitement over digging up the grave of a woman who might possibly maybe be Mona Lisa.

In the world of showbiz, a sweary new Doctor Who was chosen and a man was found dead at the home of Grease star Oliva Newton John. The police also discovered a pair of black leather pants at the crime scene. Fortunately, it all blew over, but one scandal which had more profound consequences was the Target Lubricant Name Farago (See right.)