Trumpspeak

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Trumpspeak is an obscure dialect of the English language that evolved in the late 2010s in the United States of America. It is estimated that, worldwide, (as of 2018) native speakers of Trumpspeak number anywhere between 0 and 2.

Case-marking

Unlike ordinary languages, Trumpspeak makes extensive use of case-marking instead of verb conjugation.

Technical case

Technical case is used for subjects that require at least an average level of intelligence to understand. Technical case words are often marked with long meandering phrases for emphasis. In the following sentence, the speaker attempts to express the straightforward idea that "nuclear is powerful". However, because the concept of nuclear technology equating with powerfulness requires some actual knowledge of the subject matter at hand (which the speaker almost certainly lacks), the sentence must be case-marked with a long-winded jargon packed expression to indicate its highly technical nature. This is indicated by italicized text for emphasis:

"Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you’re a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are — nuclear is powerful?"

Wall case

The wall case is used to indicate future actions of others that are desired, but in the words of former Mexican president Vicente Fox, "¡Jamás van a pasar!". In the following example, the phrase "and I will have Mexico pay for that wall, MARK MY WORDS!" acknowledges the shear impossibility of persuading Mexico of paying for any sort of wall whatsoever, either now or in the near term.

"I will build a great, great wall on our southern border and I will have Mexico pay for that wall, MARK MY WORDS!"

Chinese proverb case

The Chinese proverb case is used for statements of breathtaking ignorance and shallowness. This case is utilized by placing the sentence in quotation marks and affixing the marker — Ancient Chinese Proverb whilst holding the left index finger in a vertical position and solemnly thrusting it towards the intended recipient three times. Statements made in the Chinese proverb case should not be confused with actual Chinese proverbs.

"Those who say it can not be done, should not interrupt those doing it. — Ancient Chinese Proverb"

Hillary case

The Hillary case is used in arguments to strengthen one's position. It can be used to mollify the speakers actions such as in this dialogue:

A wife returns home to find her husband having sex with her sister... Wife: What the f*** Brad? You're f***ing my sister! Husband: But what about Hillary? What about that pedophile ring that she ran out of a basement in a pizza parlor? Wife: (repeatedly chanting) Lock her up... lock her up... The husband and sister then join in the chant.

In this situation, the Hillary case was used to contrast the speaker's actions with a non-existent conspiracy. The wife's "lock her up" chant expresses agreement, while the husband and sister join in to reinforce their social bonds.

Unreliable media case

The unreliable media case is used to express disagreement with factual information. This is usually indicated by tagging the end of a third-person quotation with "FAKE NEWS" or a loud similar-sounding expression. This has the immediate effect of rendering the entirety of the previous subject matter completely harmless.

Gender in Trumpspeak

Trumpspeak has a large number of grammatical genders. For example:

• fine people - usually used for Ku Klux Clan, Nazis, and dictators with nuclear weapons
• haters and losers - for most media outlets, Democrats, Liberals, and other critics
• neutral - any person or corporation with suspicious ties to the 2016 Presidential election