The best thing ever
“It's obviously me”
The best thing ever is a title given to any object or situation which manages to not suck or be boring in any notable way. In early years the title was given freely, but after a Kelly Clarkson CD (although the CD was later scientifically proven to actually be the best thing ever) was called the best thing ever at 12:45pm, 23 July, 2006 by a Mrs.Westbynone, the freedom was restricted with an unenforcable law, which is the best thing ever.
Some examples of best things ever[edit | edit source]
- Me
- Ali and his gang (Specifically them Vs. Mr. Tooth Decay)
- Drugs
- Chainmail (Hailed then as "Thee beft thynge evyrrhe")
- Canadians**
- Hysterectomies
- Spoken language
- When that one guy did that thing with the other thing
- Sliced bread
- Welsh Rarebit
- Justin Timberlake
- Loopholes
- Cheese
- Bacon
- The Karate Kid (Also known as the best around)
- Football (American and otherwise)
- Your Mum (Especially last night)
- The Beatles
- Whore
- Lenore
- Pie (especially peacock pie)
- Not You
- Frickin sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their frickin heads
- That friend of your Dad's you called Uncle
- Ducks
- Yeast
- Battle Pelicans
- Money scented cologne (great for trapping aristocrats)
- Bruce Springsteen
- Brock Sampson
- Vampire sex
The NEW Best Thing Ever[edit | edit source]
On October 31st, 2:13 AM, President George W. Bush (also known as King Dubya II) was held hostage by a group of teenage goth kids until he officially declared that the new best thing ever is now Cannibal Corpse. A group of protesters called the Kids' Irrationally Lumpy Liverspotted Jerks On Yams (KILLJOY) heavily protested until they were killed by being thrown in a room full of goth teenagers and beer.
The unenforcable law[edit | edit source]
No things are to be said to be best. Ever.
Controversies surrounding the best thing ever[edit | edit source]
In 1987, Bob Dylan denounced the best thing ever title whilst accepting it in a ceremony which had amongst the recipients, Michael Flatley. He (Bob Dylan) was visibly nervous at the ceremony and spoke crypticly in his speech about his father being a miner and left the stage on a motor cycle which he crashed into Michael Flatley. It was the best thing ever.
