The Big Shit

This is NOT where you will find The Big Shit. Unless you're Michael Moore, of course.

In today's world, there are big things, and there are small things. People nowadays don't care about the little things in life. And neither does Oprah. The Big Shit was a complex concept created just for today's busy and overly-Christian-influenced life, so retards could understand just what's important and what's not.

Origins

In actuality, The Big Shit has existed since the beginning of time. Hell, the beginning of time was the very FIRST big shit! Many entities claim to be the center of the universe, and although some may be, The Big Shit was there first. The Big Shit is still there. You could say that The Big Shit of this article, is, well, The Big Shit. And although The Big Shit has been everlasting, it hadn't been converted into a useful entity until much, much later.

Creating The Big Shit

Creating The Big Shit was a fairly easy process. Long, long ago, in the year 2000, King George VI stumbled upon the concept while having a lovely conversation with the almighty Sophia. So, he sent 7 of his most loyal Ninja Pirates to create The Big Shit. He stocked their wallet with 9999 rupees and sent them off to the unforgiving city of Edmonton, Alberta. Their mission: buy a WMD and blow up the entrance of the sacred temple of Goa Tse. However, the WMD cost 10,000 rupees, and they only had 9999. So, in order to expand their wallet, they had to travel to the land of Australia, in order to meet up with Albert Einstein. They quickly rode on their Chocobos and met up with Einstein, until they encountered a Wild Oscar. After years of bloody fighting, they finally attacked his weak point for massive damage. Einstein had been brutally huffed during the battle, and had to be resurrected with a magical potato. Einstein gave the Ninja Pirates a GameShark, and they were able to haxxor their wallet, buy the WMD, and blow open the bare-assed mother-fucker known as the temple of Goa Tse.

Tubgirl's WTF Matrix.

Inside, Tubgirl emerged from its depths, and in order to activate The Big Shit, they had to irritate Tubgirl's WTF Matrix. With a little help from the Flying Spaghetti Monster, they successfully activated it and created The Big Shit, for all the world to stare in wonder!!!!!!!!!!!

Finding The Big Shit

Finding The Big Shit is actually very easy to do. In fact, there are several big shits right here in this very article! Let's list them!

• The Big Shit of this article is that there are too many internal links to follow.
• The Big Shit of this article is that the above wall of text is complete and utter nonsense.
• The Big Shit of this article is that Uncyclopedia likes nonsense, but this is stupid nonsense, not funny nonsense.
• The Big Shit of this article is that you were actually retarted enough to believe the text under the "Creating The Big Shit" paragraph.

Understanding The Big Shit

The Big Shit isn't some gay concept you can just use as an alternative to fuel whatever nonsense you want. It's a way of life. Every force in the universe has a big shit. You just have to think about it. What's The Big Shit in your life? It could be your wife, your kids, or even your prostate cancer! All you have to do...is believe.

Multiple Big Shits

Now, remember, The Big Shit isn't limited to just one thing. One thing can have multiple Big Shits. Like Peter Griffin. One big shit about him is that he is fat. However, another big shit about him is that he is stupid. Therefore, we can call Peter Griffin a multi-shitter, which means he has multiple big shits.

Wrestling Career

Once upon a time there was a huge mother f****r who trampled upon innocent bystanders for no apparent reason who was aptly named "The Big Shit". Now while he was indeed Big Shit, he was regularly pwned in matches, for example: being lifted on a forklift by Crock Lesbo. He would often boast of his victories over other wrestlers before being picked up and thrown over the rope by the 4"0 tall midget known as Gay Mysterio.

The Big Shit and Hot Shit

Now THIS is some Hot Shit!

There are similarities between The Big Shit and Hot Shit. The Big Shit CAN be Hot Shit, but not all the time. And, Hot Shit CAN be The Big Shit, but not all the time.

Example 1: For some time in 2003, everyone was orgasming over Beyonce. She was both The Big Shit, and Hot Shit. I mean, c'mon. The bitch was smokin'!

Example 2: Your dad just got a new car to make him feel younger. Although he may be hot shit (though not likely, cause he's your dad), he is most certainly not The Big Shit.

Example 3: Your girlfriend may be the big shit of your life, but, and she may be full of shit, but she is definitely, not hot. Your girlfriend will never be hot.