That time I was nearly raped by Mr. Winkler yelling AAAAAAAAA! during my sojourn to the Jordanhill railway station

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The scene looked kinda like this, only in-jokier.

Dude, those fucking jokes were getting old. Like, WTF?

So there I was[edit | edit source]

waiting for the train at the fucking Jordanhill railway station, doing my Kitten Huffing thing with Oscar Wilde and the Grues, right? Like, Tourette's FUCK Syndrome badass shit.

and this fucking dude[edit | edit source]

named Mr. Winkler bursts out of a magic shop across the street, yelling "AAAAAAAAA!". Gay all over the place. So tells him shot your fuck up! So instead of going for the grues, he makes a Winkleline straight for me! Yelling IRAQATTACK the whole way.

so I pulled out my[edit | edit source]

euroipod and beat the shit out of him with it (yelling "eat shit fucker!" the whole time), and he tries to mount me! WTF?

I barely got away with a major sinistral external abrasion and a severed brachialis radial.

No, seriously. He nearly raped me.

See also[edit | edit source]