That time I nearly raped a yak during my sojourn in Soviet Russia

“In Soviet Russia yak nearly gets raped by YOU!!! ”

~ Russian Reversal on That time I nearly raped a yak during my sojourn in Soviet Russia

I looked kinda like this, only fucking psycho.

Dude, that fucking thing saw how huge I was. It was probably like, WTF?

So there I was

camping in the fucking woods, doing my Solid Snake thing with the Arctic shit and the huskies, right? Like, lumberjack badass shit.

and this fucking yak

bursts out of the trees, musk all over the place, and instead of going for the dogs, I run straight at it.

so it takes out it's jaws

and bites the shit out of me, so I try to mount it! He's probably like, WTF?

It barely got away with a major sinistral external abrasion and a severed brachialis radial.

No, seriously. I nearly raped it.

See also

• That time I was nearly raped by a yak during my sojourn in Canada
• That time I nearly took a sojourn to Canada while I was being raped by a yak
• the debilitating skin disease I got from battling the undead
• Shynneker
• Bob Dole