Talk:United Arab Emirates
you should also write how dubai's national business is whore houses in deira
- Or… not. — Lenoxus 01:51, 17 March 2007 (UTC)
You morons need to stop watching your 300 dirhams a night whores and makes this page funny, not a whining ground for people you dont like. Bloody hashkals.
good..but can improve on a lot of aspects[edit source]
like the guy above me mentioned abt the whores in al-riqqa and in bur dubai, you can also add the labour problems, coupled with their shit desire to create a middle eastern 'Monte Carlo'. and the traffic problems..yeah!
--140.174.9.7 02:39, 24 October 2008 (UTC)I think that you can bring more on this article:
1-Traffic:how to pass 5 kilometers in 53 minutes??(velocity-time-speed law)
How radars are installed(between each 2 radars there are 3 radars all within 3 km's long! The stupid fining system(800 AED for speeding above limit)..blood suckers,aren't they? The one and only country in the world that the left lane is the slowest.(thanks for assholes)
2-Labours:how to pack 25 person in 4x4 room(mathematically impossible,even if they are standing)
500 AED as monthly salary is enough for them to survive(Mathematically possible,but human wise it's insane) --140.174.9.7 02:39, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
Why change the google satellite image ?[edit source]
I feel the old image was funny!
Edit[edit source]
Why won't edits save?
Ugh[edit source]
This page is terrible. I don't have time to fix it, though, so I'll stick a rewrite temp. on it. --—Mazaka (talk) 01:43, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
I THINK ITS REALLY BETTER NOW LOL[edit source]
YOOOOOOOOOO!!! ITS REALLY GOOD INNIT!? I mean, really better. Yeas, the last one was REALLY BAD.--Dah Dope Boyz' 10:49, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
The pictures make it look like a Wikipedia article. Even though the information is improved(which still needs alot improving), the pictures didn't. Most of the information written is meaningless, it would be much improved if certain aspects of the UAE is talked about instead of meaningless text. BushTheAss 18:28, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
- :''''((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((--Dah Dope Boyz' 03:17, March 15, 2010 (UTC) ok. Plz pee it I never mind if its all 1 or 2, coz i know its still better than the last version which made me sick--Dah Dope Boyz' 03:17, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
YOOOOOOOOOO BUSHTHEASS!!! NOW ITS REALLY GOOD INNIT!? I mean, really better. Yeas, the last one has too many redundant.--Dah Dope Boyz' 03:42, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
Pee Review results[edit source]
It wasnt pee but it was some dungs.
Humour: | 4 | The purpose of this pee review is to help you improve this article, not to demean your writing skills (or something), so please don't get angry if I give you a low score on humor; it's for your own good. Really. There aren't many jokes in this article, only random facts sprinkled about in each paragraph, and when there is a joke, it isn't really funny, and it's executed poorly. Though I can see that there are parts in the article when you try to satirize the UAE's over expensive projects, or the large amounts of tourists, or etc., these parts or boggled with random facts interjected and other failed attempts at humor (yes I just said that; Sorry). The major problem with the humor is the lack of consistent tone, and the lack of something to make fun of. Articles satirizing something (such as a person or a place),in my humble opinion, have to center on at least one major theme or thing to satirize (like a certain boy band's lack of musical talent). You could have focused more on the UAE's extravagantly retarded tourist trap projects (which, to be fair, you kinda did), but, your ideas were all over the place, and you couldn't "reap the funny", as they say in my fictional island nation. You also had to much ideas to juggle. |
Concept: | 5 | The UAE is ripe for parody, and I salute you in your fine choice of article picking. But unfortunately, you didn't completely flesh out the idea, which led to a less than favorable crop. I should probably stop with the farming analogies. Your concept is strong, and I think you know what ideas you need to grow on, its just that you don't really know how to grow them. |
Prose and formatting: | 3 | This is the main weak spot in this article. There are several grammatical errors in your article ("Although generally hot and dry, there are four seasons exist" and "Not to mention the very sweet traffic were 5000 cars are required to pass-" just two errors). The sentences are sometimes awkward and run-on for a while. The appearance of the article is at best, mediocre, and the point of view of the article goes up and down wildly. One section you think the country is okay and the next you treat it like a poo lit surprise on your doorstep. Remember, when making a sentence, please read it to yourself. |
Images: | 6 | The images are okay, and the captions were actually kinda funny. You should improve on this by maybe adding more images? |
Miscellaneous: | 4.25 | All the scores averaged together. |
Final Score: | 22.25 | First, you should focus your article on a few major themes to satirize on. You had too many ideas going on, and you couldn't juggle them all properly. You should fix the grammatical errors, improve on the good things you had in the article (the images, the satirizing UAE's culture, etc.) and put on some elbow grease. If you want this article in tip-top shape, you would better be willing to devote some time, KID! Unless of course you have stuff to do. Please read HTBFANJS; I read it, and it was a big help. This is my first review, so I haven't refined my reviewing skills yet. |
Reviewer: | -- 05:47, March 15, 2010 (UTC) Feel free to send me death threats and pizza to my talk page. |
Humour: | 5 | Ok, I’ll start off with the biggest problem here. I looked back a the last review of this, and I see the reviewer made this same comment (although I’m still sure that this article has improved since the review). You article isn’t hopeless when it comes to humor - compared to the majority of articles out there, it's quite good. It garners a chuckle here and there, and that camel picture is amusing, as well as the section about blocked websites. So there definitely is potential here.
The problem here is that the majority of this is still just random humor. You’ve made up random facts – it’s simple as that. At points I see attempts at some actual parody, but they are not very strong attempts and are drowned out by the bulk of randomness, so they don't add any great humor. This needs to be improved. As I just said, complete lies CAN be funny. But not in bulk like this. You need to merge these current humor techniques with actual parody. And the UAE is a jackpot if you are looking for something to parody - there are some great subjects and attributions you can write about. Everyone knows about its buildings, they know that it is in the Middle East, they know oil comes from there, and that makes it a rich country. From these pieces of knowledge alone, you can really juice out a heap of humor. You can make up random things, but try and make it relate and play on your subject’s attributes. You can insult the place with little interruptions, make it look silly, make it look cool or write about it as if it something it isn’t. You have to try and merge some different types of humor into this – it will make it much funnier and keep the reader hooked at the same time. If you want ideas for different humor techniques, I always recommend the featured content. Check out the articles on countries in there, and look for inspiration. Reading humor make someone a funny person. The next biggest problem here is that your article has no real direction. Facts have been written and twisted, or just completely made up. It feels as if it was written by many people, each adding a tiny contribution – because it was, really. What you need to do is think what kind of impression you want to give your reader about this country. Do you it to look like a strange Middle Eastern country from the movies, or a stupid, money only place, or the best location ever? You’ve got to take a step back and think about want you want to say about this subject, and how you're gong to say it. Try and SHOW instead of TELL - it's much more effective and more exciting for the reader. You’ve got to make it clear to the reader who these people are – hit hard with your points and juice out humor from your ideas. If your article has a general direction like this, then it will be easier to read, and also help out the humor in many ways. My last point here is the timing of your jokes. Sometimes you pack as many as you can into a single line. If these were awesome jokes, you wouldn’t give the reader time to breathe, which would hurt the humor. Other times you have whole rather boring sections without a single joke. Try and spread out your jokes so you keep the reader hooked with some continuous humor, but give them time to breath so the joke hits them hard and strong. Timing is very important for humor and if you concentrate on this, then it will help this article’s humor out greatly. |
Concept: | 6 | This is a great concept to milk some quality humor from. However, you could still use it better, as I have gone into in the humor section. |
Prose and formatting: | 5 | This is still a big weak spot in your article, and needs to be concentrated on and fixed up. There are a few problems I will outline here...
First, your prose and writing style. Because this was written by multiple accounts, the style of writing is very jumpy and disjointed. It changes in each paragraph. You should pick a style here and rewrite the paragraphs so they are the same style throughout. That doesn’t mean completely changing the content, just the way you tell the jokes and facts. You also have a number of spelling mistakes, while your grammar is pretty much fine. I’m not going to go through each one, but recommend you add the {{Proofread}} tag to your article. On the subject of formatting, your article doesn’t look horrible. The only thing that you need to help out here is the placement of your images. I see your trying to place your images with your corresponding paragraphs- that is good. But you still have to try and spread out your pictures so none are squashed together and there aren’t any large gaps. This will improve the looks of your article and will help it out a lot. |
Images: | 4 | None of your images are actually funny – excepting that camel one, it gave me a chuckle.
The biggest improvement you need to make here are your captions - they are essential to making a normal picture funny, and adding to a funny picture's humor. Good captions are important, and if done well can add heaps of humor into your article. So spend some time on them to get them perfect, and it'll be worth it! |
Miscellaneous: | 5 | Averaged your scores in my head. Don’t worry, I’m a good mathematician. |
Final Score: | 25 | This is not a bad article as it stands. However, if you fix up the problems I have outlined, this will be a very solid parody. Good luck, and I hope I have helped!
If you have any questions and such, you can contact me at my talkpage. |
Reviewer: | -- | (CUN) 10:15, September 16, 2010 (UTC)