Talk:Science fiction

IMPERIAL COLONIZATION: HISTORY HAS BEEN ALTERED

Imperial Colonization colonized this article, and copied the IC version here on the 9th of June in 2010 of the Common Era. The History of IC edits is at Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/Science fiction and the discussion for the IC version of this article is at Uncyclopedia talk:Imperial Colonization/Science fiction. To see the history of Science Fiction, a different article (note the capitalised "F"), see Science Fiction History and for that article's talk page see Science Fiction Talk. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  18:21, June 9, 2010 (UTC)

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR A DIE HARD SCI-FI GEEK?

1. Obviously you have a collection of every episode of TV shows taped, that are set in space, and every movie you own starts with the word "Star" in the title of it.
2. You can name every character, episode, director, and producer, right down to the dolly grip of all your geeky movies.
3. You've taken the step of naming your pet just that one step too far; it's ok to name it Mr Spock or Chewy, but calling out to your pet named "Death Star" is going a little beyond obsessiveness.
4. You're not only the first to line up weeks in advance for the first screening of the latest Star Wars installment; You're also the first person to line up for weeks out the front of the Lucas Ranch to inform him of all the flaws you found with the movie.
5. You get online to argue weather Captain Kirk could kick Captain Picard's ass in a game of dungeons and dragons.
6. Your ideal date is not to actually meet one of the femminoids off your favorite TV show, but to create one in your own laboratory like your hero, MacGyver.
7. When you're in chat rooms, you only have cyber-sex with 3-breasted Ewok's.
8. According to your calculations, a Stargate is not theoretically possible; however, you have no problem with the fact that many of your favorite movies involve spaceships traveling faster then the speed of light.
9. Instead of pinup models on your wall, you have a picture of George Lucas, and 1001 reasons why Star Trek does not compare to Star Wars. Or Vice-Versa.
10. You have written a movie script for a 50 hour movie that you have written to combine Star Wars, Star Trek, Star Gate, 2001 space odyssey, Babylon 5, Dr. Who, Battle-star Galactica, and every other movie with a sci-fi theme; all wrapped up into one movie, and not only have you combined all themes, you have brought back every single character you know of, requiring a cast of over a billion, but you figure that ILM would put that many un-needed CGI-SFX into a new age, over rated, CGI, crappy movie anyway.
11. You completely understand the Matrix movies plots, and enjoyed the films.
12. You get funny looks when you're on websites devoted to pictures of gay storm troopers, lesbian Wookies & horny droids; or you prefer cartoon/CGI characters over the real thing.
13. You cannot get off with another person unless they are telling you to use the force.
14. You draw and design spaceships, and you always have secret sex compartments hidden into them! As if you would ever have anyone in them but yourself if you could build it.
15. You always feel superior to people who haven't seen episode 74 of Deep Space 9, yet you forget its usually the dumb guy who doesn't know anything about science who saves the brainiacs in every sci-fi movie.
16. You don't just go to dress up parties or conventions dressed as your favorite sci-fi character & re-in-act scenes, but you film it, and broadcast it on the net hoping George Lucas will see it and put you in his next movie.
17. You take high offense to people confusing the words "Trek" and "Wars".
18. You burn all your meals because you keep mistakenly putting in co-ordinance numbers into the microwave instead of actual earth time.
19. You believe that on the 7th day George Lucas created man.
20. You can actually explain why mainframes don't relatively exist.
21. You think it will impress chicks to tell them your working on a non cryogenically data-base analysis system 5.1, with the 155 megabytes of extra ram to co-ordinate the perfect resolution and pixel state to generate the 1.21 gig watts of thorpedionixiode needed to pull the gravitational pull of the atmospheric rate. Then carry the one to make it into a thermos nutrient capable of sending out proton torpedoes over a radius of ninety one point five seven disciples in 3 milliseconds to move the bishop to the left.... checkmate
22. You have already worked out exactly in every detail how the last sentence above is not logical, and where it went wrong.
23. You refer to anything evil as "the dark side"
24. You're able to convince your dressed up as Princess Layer hooker, that your premature ejaculation is not embarrassing, because on planet Krypton you would have lasted .848085th of a second longer then the record holder of the man who has held out for the longest before cumming...sniff.
25. You don't masturbate because you feel all your semen might be beamed up a-board a mother ship and used to create clones to attack earth with.
26. You have a website devoted to every Star Wars merchandise or reference that has ever been mentioned or shown on a TV series and movie.
27. You refer to you penis as a phazer gun.
28. you play drinking games where you drink a shot of lemonade to every time you hear the number to the equation you just gave in the language of Klinggonion.
29. you host dungeons and dragons meetings in your parents basement.
30. you think you're superior because I haven't spelled names of things (or people or ships, devices, props, or something that was probably made by sticking a flash light behind a shoe box painted black with holes punched in it) here correctly.
31. Your ideal woman is the body of princess Leah, the face of Samantha Carter, and the legs of a Darleck.

---Maniac1075^{Complain Here} 01:17, June 10, 2010 (UTC)

I guess I fail at being a Sci-Fi geek. No. 25 definitely doesn't apply to me. Also I don't even know what a Darleck is--could that be related to a Dalek? I guess that means I fit no. 30, huh? (Also thanks for the laughs). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  18:13, June 12, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, those robot things from "Dr. Who Weekly" that sound like a computer fart screaming, "exterminate"... my knowledge of the show isn't great, I only watched it when Billy Piper was on it, which is probably seen in others eyes as enough to be exterminated! ---Maniac1075^{Complain Here} 23:22, June 12, 2010 (UTC)

Apocolyptic sci-fi?

Seems to have vanished but the examples remain. Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 00:36, Oct 21 2010 UTC

Oh, so you don't know what's going on with this, either? ...does anyone? Does Aleister? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101021 - 00:42 (UTC)

Nope. I went in and did some chopping of the horrendous wood, so maybe it was in that batch of edits. Moving the authors down was a good idea, it looks much better. Hopefully things are working out here. the page seems much better to me. I put back Kilgore Trout, which would be very funny to lots of people--did cut back the section, and it is linked to Vonnegut. The page is taking good shape here. Aleister 00:47 21 10

I'd like to remove those examples then. I've just been trimming it down to keep the better parts in, and removed those that had the most criticism, and tbch, the bits I'm not overjoyed with, and the incomplete ideas. Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 00:55, Oct 21 2010 UTC

It is starting to look like a page... you guys are amazing. If I ever figure out what I was doing with the definition return, it could maybe have a very short history there, and then the transition and leap into the genres, which make a lot more sense where they are... think that'd work?

Does it really need all of those separate genres, though? A couple could probably be merged, and frankly the 'soft' and 'hard' have me a little confused. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101021 - 01:02 (UTC)

Soft and hard. The story of my life. Those confused me too, but I think hard science means using more science, while soft sf is centered on emotions and action? And Puppy, concernng the cuts, remember that the two reviews came from two 10 year olds, whose idea of SF is The Transformers (I can hear Why?'s steps running towards me now, gotta go) Aleister 1:13 21 10

Gleh, I'ma merge them into a range, then, and make that clear. If I don't get sidetracked first, that is. And I thought the reviews were rather good... 10-year-olds? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101021 - 01:17 (UTC)

Ok, apologies. At least 16 year olds. The reviews did help, but I also thought they were too focused on lots of stuff to cut which turned out to be lots of stuff I liked, but easier to talk about specifics point-by-point. Like the Kilgore Trout entry, which hints at having meaning to Vonnegut fans. Aleister 1:29 21 10

Hmm... well, no need to heed them, of course. I frankly lost track of half the technical bitties Why got into. Brain-mush and whatnot.

And right now I am completely stuck on how to start a sentence... ARG! ...wait, is this that writer's block thing I keep hearing about? o___O ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101021 - 01:32 (UTC)

The reason for all the sub genres was that this was a direct spork of the wikipedia entry. Feel free to cull as you see fit. And you start a sentence by hitting the shift key. Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 01:48, Oct 21 2010 UTC

Not if caps lock is on. And okay. Good. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101021 - 01:51 (UTC)

Gee, I was insulted here and missed the show, darnit.

First, as HELPME is my son, it would be a little weird if we were both 10-year-olds. Or it could be due to a temporal vortex or a time-space anomaly, in which case that could work.

Second, when I was 10 years old, I was contemplating life, the universe, and everything. I was trying to work out ways of finding compatibility between the biblical book of Genesis with Evolutionary theory, and suspected that dinosaurs were actually warm blooded or at least partially warm blooded (something some scientists now suspect). Now I spend a lot of time contemplating Princess Leia in a metal bikini.

Third, have you looked at the percentage of articles that followed all or most of my Pee Review suggestions and got featured? Have you looked at the percentage that did not and got featured? I rest my case. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  18:18, March 7, 2011 (UTC)

William Shatner gif

William Shatner, dictating his memoirs, is emotionally shattered as he recalls how he first met Leonard Nimoy

(Moved here for discussion. I call dibs on first comment space, but must sign off again. Ah, Bill, we hardly knew ye.) Aleister 21:16 26 10

Notice that it is William Shatner, not Captain Kirk, dictating his memoirs. The look on his face and the psychological release of finally admitting how he met Leonard Nimoy--the only person on Shatner's level when it came to Star Trek fame--almost shatters him. Obviously this has been a secret between Shatner and Nimoy, something which has hung over Shatner's head ever since he found out that Nimoy had been cast as the science officer on his new show. It must have been a horrible thing to bear, especially after the fans fell in love with Nimoy and considered Shatner an arrogant bastard. Think of the effort it must have been for Shatner to admit this to the person taking the dictation. And here we see him caught at the exact moment of catharsis. Aleister 00:44 27 10

PUT IT BACK! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 21:48, 26 October 2010

NO! ~ Lyrithya *shifty eyes* (words) (actions) -- 20101026 - 21:54 (UTC)

Alright, so why do you guys want it? What purpose or point does it serve? Is it in some way funny? ~ Lyrithya *shifty eyes* (words) (actions) -- 20101026 - 21:56 (UTC)

And the readers are supposed to get that, how, exactly? ~ Lyrithya *shifty eyes* (words) (actions) -- 20101027 - 00:50 (UTC)

It's not only implied, it's spelled out in the caption and viewing the gif. For those who get it the pic will be funny, for those who think "I sucked his cock" is funny the pic will be funny, and for those who like to see Captain Kirk say "I sucked his cock" it will be funny. Funny left and funny right, enough funny to put in Abe Lincoln's stovetop hat. Aleister 00:53 27 10

It's tasteless, annoying, and I still fail to see how this is spelt out. How is it spelt out? ~ Lyrithya *shifty eyes* (words) (actions) -- 20101027 - 01:00 (UTC)

/Going down to the frying pan store to size up some frying pans. It's implied by the caption which describes the gif. Why else would Shatner be so emotional, obviously not in anger but in anguish? He' a hurt man in the gif, his pain is apparant. We almost cry for him and with him. I'm not married to the gif (I asked it to marry me, but it turned me down), so what do others think? Aleister 1:11 27 10

p.s. a tweek to the caption? How does this work?

Honestly, the impression I got from the thing was that an alien had crawled up his rectum, or something... so apparently, he's in costume explaining and reencating an incident in which something crawled up his rectum?

Still doesn't make any sense to me...

Eh, Socky seems to like it... ~ Lyrithya *shifty eyes* (words) (actions) -- 20101027 - 01:18 (UTC)

Naw, Socky's playing, so there is no way to tell if he really likes it or is just stirring the pot. Hmmmmmmm. Stirring the pot. Maybe a good line for my California page. Aleister 1:20 27 10

Proposal

Use that instead, or just something else, maybe? Something that ain't a distracting animated gif with a nonsensical made-up quote that appears to have nothing to do with the article, and a caption that doesn't make sense with the image, and isn't even that funny...? At the very least, though, you could just do what HELPME said - try to change it, use it to satirise the movie more. As it stands, you have three people saying it is more distracting than funny, although two of them aren't present these days... and all that's coming of it is a revert war of sorts.

And sorry about overreacting in IRC like that. That... I mean... agh. I think I'm going back to bed, now. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101130 - 13:05 (UTC)

IRC? Is that a science fictioney term? Hmmmmm. The Shatner Choke, what could the caption be? William Shatner, pretending he's a starship captain, chokes on his own pearl necklace. Hmmmmm. Or A point-of-view pic of Kirk engaging in a courtship ritual with a beautiful gal from a moon of Omega-12 Aleister 13:13 30 11

p.s. and we should really get this page in shape. I blame the concept of sporking for its slowness and hard-to-untangleness. Never liked sporks.

Eh, I wash my hands of the whole matter. The last image I saw was quite the improvement, but... I can't be bothered to care anymore. Good luck, guys. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101201 - 02:57 (UTC)

Spork had some merit to it, and there wasn't any other concepts thrown forward at the time that anyone got really excited about. I think the next best option is to change it to a portal, keeping the sub-genres in there as a rotating "genre of the day" and have it link to related articles. but then again, much of what was remove was my additions and attempts to keep it on track - which I failed at dismally. Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 05:03, Dec 2 2010 UTC

It seems to be in pretty good shape in many ways. Just needs a couple more hours of good work and it'll be there. Lyrithya did some really good stuff, other people have played in the fields of the Lord, and it's doing fairly well, imnho. There's that weird discussion about the Shatner pic, but that seems resolved with the new one (although the caption may need tweeking). What Iz saying is that it's not bad, not bad at all. Except a little. Aleister 5:12 2 12

I may have been lying about the not caring bit. What all does it need now? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101202 - 18:37 (UTC)

It needs your loving attention and care. I don't know, haven't read the whole page in awhile. Let's peck at it and see what falls into place, maybe even a new section about something just for variety. I think I've forceably taken over colonization unless Happytimes has come back since the note I left him, because Dinosaur has to get nuzzled too. And have you heard Sonje's audio on the VFH UnTunes page? Whooa! Aleister 18:48 2 12

I have no attention nor care to spare, unfortunately. And I don't think I've ever actually read this whole article, either... o_O Maybe I'll pretend I had nothing to do with it, don a mask, and give it a review of sorts at some point.

Dunno how forceful that is, since the guy wasn't there to be forced, though. And nope, I haven't. Won't any time soon, either... glarble. *shuffles off* ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101202 - 20:20 (UTC)

So, the overall summary is un:n? I haven't read it I'm toto for a while, and given the pain in the bum wikia skin is on iPod I might be a while before actually getting round to reading it. Having said that, outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside a dog it's too hard to read. Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 07:32, Dec 3 2010 UTC

What's un:n? Except these days we all read off backlit things, so really, wouldn't the problem be if it's too bright, wherever? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101204 - 04:49 (UTC)