Talk:Royal Pointless Military Things Tournament
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This is the talk page for discussing improvements to Royal Pointless Military Things Tournament.
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| Humour: | 8 | after reading the title, i deemed this article to have huge lame potential, but it provided me with chuckle after chuckle |
| Concept: | 8 | an excellent concept for an uncyc article |
| Prose and formatting: | 7.5 | as anyone who's ever had an article reviewed by me knows, i love links. a lot. maybe sprinkle some more in. |
| Images: | 6.5 | the two are good, but given the length i think one more would be appropriate. i offer an image i made a while ago that might fit in nicely. |
| Miscellaneous: | 8 | marching in a cube...hehehe |
| Final Score: | 38 | your fears were unfounded, sir. i find your list to be funny rather than annoying, as it is relatively short and quite good. it currently stands as a solid (fuck, there's that word again) rewrite. should you ever feel the need to expand it, maybe sections on specifics could be added, like most pointless technology or best military use of sea otter. |
| Reviewer: | -- 20:08, 1 October 2007 (UTC) | |
2nd Pee Review[edit source]
| Humour: | 8 | Note 1. “The Royal Pointless Military Things Tournament is an annual event hosted by the Elite General Blundering Around Division of the British armed forces.” Fun intro, irony in that silliness is institutionalized, especially institutionalized in the most serious operation. Elicited a chuckle.
Note 2. “It is open to all pointless forces members, from those who are no good at fighting but can march very well, to the man in charge of feeding the regimental mascot sheep." Elaboration on who can attend is most welcome. No need for any expansion. The sheep thought is particularly funny. The line reaffirms the pointlessness of the whole affair. Note 3. “The Tournament was founded in 1850 by The Grand Old Duke of York, who according to legend marched 10,000 soldiers repeatedly up and down a steep hill for some reason known only to himself.” How funny! The imagery and the accompanying secrecy are all too tickling. Note 4. “The Duke was killed in mysterious circumstances shortly afterwards, dying from approximately 10,000 bullet wounds.” Excellent. The line also employs irony in describing the death as mysterious even though there is a suspicious correlation between 10000 irate soldiers and 10000 bullet wounds. The immediacy of the line also allows for pitch-perfect deadpan delivery. Note 5. “The tournament has grown steadily in prestige since that auspicious beginning, with multiple entries in every category, and more categories being suggested every year. Indeed, there is some suspicion that some units exist solely to provide entrants for the tournament, and it is hard to find any other justification for such units as The Royal Armoured Cretins, The Third Airborne Paratroopers (Numpty Section) and The Royal Engineers Minus Education.” Very good. The line witnesses the employing of the rule of three (The rule of three is a principle in English writing that suggests that things that come in threes are inherently funnier, more satisfying, or more effective than other numbers of things. Says Wikipedia).“The Royal Armoured Cretins, The Third Airborne Paratroopers (Numpty Section) and The Royal Engineers Minus Education.” witnesses progressively more absurd ideas culminating with my personal favorite “Engineers Minus Education”. I’m not particularly sure of what is Numpty though. Note 6. “It has also been suggested that the tournament is somewhat irrelevant, given the military's propensity for pointless actions at any time, without the need for a tournament.” Ooooohh, diss. Good flow to the sentence, but not particularly funny: it evokes that military intelligence cliché. Note 7. “Entrants are initially selected by senior military staff based on one simple test: what would they rather take into combat with them, this unit/individual or a pink feather duster?” Excellent! May one suggest substituting a colon for the comma following them. The unit/individual or pink feather duster juxtaposition is wunderbar. One can’t help but wonder whether one can conjure up even more absurd examples. Still, the examples are excellent. Note 8. “On selection, all entrants are expected to complete a series of tests to prove their pointlessness before entering the tournament. These include a shooting contest notable for being the only test of marksmanship where the safest place to stand is directly in front of the target. In fact, one year an entrant did achieve a bullseye, and was on the point of being disqualified for being competent, when it was pointed out that he hadn't been in the competition at the time, and was in fact trying to play Russian Roulette while waiting for his turn, and had missed his own head.” Wow. That was some digression. It worked though. That one example certainly settled any doubts the reader may have had concerning the degree of triviality characterizing this sport of kings. Truly, one is more in awe of the imaginative calisthenics than any attempt in humor. Note 9. “The Royal Pointless Military Things Tournament consists of a series of events, as such things generally do.” LOL, thank you Missy Matter O’ Fact. Seriously, very good. Note 10. “These events are arranged roughly in order of increasing pointlessness, starting with Military Things That May Have Served Some Purpose At Some Point, progressing past Military Things People Suspect They Just Do To Look Busy, and ending with full-blown Military Things Which Soldiers Are Sure Their Commanding Officer Just Made Up Today.” Very, very good. The line witnesses the Rule of Three and corresponding ever-far flung flights into the absurd (or the truth for some jaundiced folk). Note 11. “It should be noted, however, that the "Tournament" part of the name is simply tradition, and the events are not competitive. In fact, there is little to no structure to the events at all, and the most organised part of the event is the patrons of the local pubs, who run books on which of the soldiers will fall out of line first due to sheer boredom.” Elicited only a nod. Note 12. “Events have included:•Shouting loudly at groups of confused soldiers•Riding horses in gaudy cumbersome armour•Dismantling an ancient cannon and running around with it for no good reason•Marching up and down and then up again. And then down and up once more for good measure. And then marching only half way up, and being neither up nor down.•Jumping a motorbike over several musicians (see image)•Marching in a circle•Marching in a square•Marching in a cube•Marching in a tesseract (advanced)•"Who-can see-the-least-from-under-their-ridiculously-angled cap" contest•Playing vaguely embarrassing outdated imperialistic anthems (arranged for drum and bagpipe)•Curling” Good list. Smiles all around, but no lols. For some reason, I find the imagery of marching up and down for no particular reason very tickling. Maybe it’s a Freudian thing. Note 13. “To underline the extreme pointlessness of these events, many of them are not watched by the judges - who prefer to be in the well-stocked bar - and the eventual winners are drawn from a hat. This led to hilarity one year when the winner of the "Shouting Orders In Such A Way That No-One Else Alive Could Understand Them" competition was revealed to be Sergeant Do Not Dry Clean. When the judges read out the winner, several observers instantly pointed out the obvious mistake - Sergeant Do Not Dry Clean had withdrawn from the event with a sore throat, and his name had been left in the hat in error.” This line is an exercise in both the absurd (Sgt. Do Not Dry Clean) and a reaffirmation of the concept (that of course, an event glorifying and judging pointlessness should lo and behold not really be judged at all!). However, this part elicited appreciation rather than lols. Note 14. The Attendance Section. This part is out of place to the article because it does not have any explicit connection to the main idea (glorious pointlessness) which hitherto was driving the momentum of the article. The connection is suggested (People being forced to watch such drivel): but this piece elaborates on the consequences of the pointlessness as opposed to exploring the pointlessness. This passage elicited no chuckle, smile, or lols. Note 15. The Purpose Section. This passage elicited puzzlement: does the British Navy exhibit a proclivity for historically ladies’ wares? This passage like the passage previous is out of place with the rest of the article, lacks an explicit connection, and is not particularly funny. |
| Concept: | 9 | Excellent concept. Rather than outright bashing the phenomena that is military incompetence, this article "glorifies" such phenomena through sport, which trivializes military operations (serious business)to nothing but a game. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7 | The prose and the formatting were fine. No noticeable deviations from the normal and nonthreatening. |
| Images: | 7.5 | The first image, while highlighting the pathetic-ness of the event, only elicited a nod of recognition. The second image however, is just pure fun: asking the reader to identify any semblance of practicality drives the pointlessness to a personal perfect pitch. |
| Miscellaneous: | 7.9 | Averaged. |
| Final Score: | 39.4 | The concept is excellent. Some of the prose is rib-tickling. And surely the article witnesses a full imagination tank. Just continue splattering your imagination juices all over the article and clean up where needed (the Attendance and Purpose sections). Unlike the motorcyclist in the bottom image suspended and with no definite landing point, this article with a little more work will launch and land onto VFH. |
| Reviewer: | Mightydandylion  (talk) Fk 00:23, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
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