Talk:John Boehner

Orbhunterx on John Boehner

You are too gentle with this guy. You have crossed swords with him on several articles; it seems to me that he joined Uncyclopedia with the sole purpose of sliming Boehner and Coulter, mostly by linking them to Nazis. Unfunny. You gave John Boehner the ICU; I would have picked QVFD, as in start over. Spıke ¬ 23:37 6-Nov-10

I agree on Boehner. The topic deserves a good page. Maybe we all should work on a page, QVFD his, and have it in place by the time the idiot takes power in January. Aleister 23:41 6 11

Hmm... who? Oh, right, that guy... er... okay. What? Who? Eh?

But okay. You've a point. It was put up for review so I figured give it the benefit of the doubt (although since I tend to doubt everything, that may not be such a good idea)... I dunno. An idiot's ICU tag doesn't stop you from QVFDing, does it? You should probably add the review request too if you do put it there, mind. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101107 - 00:00 (UTC)

In other news, I seem to be too tired to think... so if you see me do anything else idiotic, please smack me and fix it. >.< ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101107 - 00:04 (UTC)

I said it was gentle, not idiotic. Also, I don't know the proper procedure. The guy did go for Pee Review (as one contributor of an awful UnNews did recently). This may be to keep it from being deleted, or even just to get one reviewer to read his political rant.

Here is Boehner's rap sheet on UnNews: Name admits of two pronunciations (the UnNews one and the official one); forced Joe Wilson to grovel after blurting out "You lie" to Obama; forced Joe Barton to grovel after saying Obama "shook down" BP; both reps are now in Boehner's broom closet with duct tape on their mouths.

Rarely mentioned or omitted on UnNews: Boehner led the ridiculous Republican non-opposition to Obama for two years, with some health care alternatives so poorly publicized that people only knew the Republicans were the "party of No." He has said some notoriously conciliatory things over the summer, which Democrats reminded Republicans of in October to try to get them to cut the grass instead of vote. With the Tea Party in resurgence, Boehner has been conciliatory to them, promising to give them an up-or-down vote on taxes and Obamacare. Spıke ¬ 00:15 7-Nov-10

Ick... politics... as if my brain wasn't working badly enough as it is. Love, that... just means nothing to me. All these names and factions and faces, they're all so fleeting and silly. Why do people put such stock in it? Why... urg.

And maybe that particular thing wasn't as idiotic as it could have been, but... other stuff I've done tonight sure has been. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101107 - 00:22 (UTC)

Then you'll hate this, but I just finished reading his Wikipedia article. A Republican from the Contract with America days, conservative as in pro-business (including immigration reform) rather than evangelical or libertarian. Nothing at all funny about him. No entertaining scandals except possible ties to lobbyists--that's everyone. But he's going to run the U.S. House in two months, and does need a page and not just a hatchet-job. Spıke ¬ 00:25 7-Nov-10 post-edited

So why don't you write one? All this is the first I've heard of the fellow, but you seem actually capable of doing research, as evidenced by the fact that you just did... ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101107 - 00:28 (UTC)

I may wind up doing so (better me than some Brit, eh, Aleister?) but at the moment, again, I don't see a single funny thing about him. Spıke ¬ 00:30 7-Nov-10

You could always make up a ludicrously insane bad joke that could be applied to anything, but hasn't been applied to anything else, yet, and apply it to him... ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101107 - 00:33 (UTC)

Wait! There is a joke on the page! You see, Boehner is a fan of tanning salons--to the extent that his skin color is most commonly described as "orange." So Orbhunterx starts a section, "When not bathing in bronzing solution...." Ooh, that's good! But I am going to commandeer the page and edit in place. Spıke ¬ 00:38 7-Nov-10

Have fun, good luck, that kind of thing? What do we do with the review? Should I, like, close it saying SPIKE commandeered the page; doesn't apply anymore, or what? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101107 - 00:52 (UTC)

Scrub is done; try it now. Technically, I have no authority to cancel a Pee Review. (For that matter, I have no authority to commandeer a page.) Spıke ¬ 01:10 7-Nov-10

Scrub? Oh, rewritoid? It's very rough... still, seems better. I guess. At least it seems to have some main jokes to it, now. And content. Content helps.

Meh, neither do I... I just do it anyway sometimes. Actually, I do a lot of things I probably shouldn't, but since nobody more qualified seems to want to... eh. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101107 - 01:29 (UTC)

More from Socky

Did anyone say "Boehner"? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 01:11, 7 November 2010

Already told that joke! (In the third paragraph of the intro) Spıke ¬ 01:18 7-Nov-10

It was a pretty obvious joke, obviously. You could say something about Biden and Boehner having something in common: they'll sit behind Obama when he addresses Congress. Not sure how funny that is, but you're the politically informed guy, so I'll leave that up to you. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:28, 7 November 2010

Well, yeah, they have something in common, in that they will be the heads of one house of the next Congress. As for having a Boner behind you, that's something we might work with, though Greeks in local state legislatures jump to mind. You wead on UnNews that Bawney Fwank was we-ewected? someone you don't want behind you on a vote. Spıke ¬ 02:33 7-Nov-10

The above is now all included in the article. And it's time to remove the "Reclaimed" template I had attached to the top of the page, derived from the announcement that at one time graced The Rescuers:

Reclaimed

Listen up. Spike has taken over the management of this page. We are going to try to do something funnier with the article than to assert that Boehner is the Second Coming of Hitler and pepper it with links to The Daily Kos. Got it?

Cryin' John

I haven't looked at the page, but know that he cries alot and also is known as pretty lazy, that he'd rather be golfing than working on Capitol Hill. That stuff is kind of funny if worked into the page. Enough for now, Aleister 00:29 8 11

Ooh, and Socky just called me the politics expert! Thanks for the additional ideas. A short dissertation on crying males in US politics is now included (in the final section).Spıke ¬ 00:34 8-Nov-10 post-edited