Talk:Dmitry Medvedev

Pee review, first go

:I'll review this — Sir Sycamore (talk) 08:35, 3 September 2008 (UTC)

If you want another review as good as this, re-submit it, and I'll have look;) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 09:18, 3 September 2008 (UTC)

Humour:	5	Not that fun
Concept:	5	Is it one of the "absolute truth?" articles. Loved "maybe you are looking for" stuff.
Prose and formatting:	8
Images:	8	Some captions need polish
Miscellaneous:	5	Maybe in needs to be different. Like article about garbageman with the same name or whatever.
Final Score:	31	Too true to be fun.
Reviewer:	Muxecoid 09:12, 3 September 2008 (UTC)

Hey, it's a Uncyclopedia or Wikipedia article? Not funny. 78.37.60.5 20:48, 6 January 2009 (UTC)Виктор Ш.

Medvedev

Hello Mickey,

Just a friendly reminder. Dmitry Medvedev is not YOUR article. I hope you get it, because there are no articles on Uncyclopedia that belong to someone. This is first of all. Second, please remember that unregistered users count as much as registered do, so they must be given the same rights. If you think that the page has been vandalized by the unfunny, please revert carefully by notifying the person of such deed. Also, keep in mind that humour is a relative thing, so if one person finds it funny and the other one does not, the best way to proceed is to refer to the "How to be funny and not just stupid guide".

By default of not taking the present notice into consideration, I would proceed to send the article to pee review for approval. I strongly suggest we put our differences aside and work together to create a funny article before one of us enters the edit war. I do not believe you would want that, right?

Thank you for your time. Please reply on my own talk page. Yours truly, Shadiac 17:47, 19 April 2009 (UTC)

I said it in the edit summary and will repeat it here; the edits made to the Dmitry Medvedev article does not fit in with what is already there. You'll find instructions along these lines in HTBFANJS. An article should have one central purpose and read as if it has been written by one author. That's not to say it has to actually be written by one person alone, merely that it has to have a consistency in tone and content.

So, let's see what was already there. The existing article was a satire on Medvedev's position as a puppet president, with further references to the unfairness of the Russian political system. There is also a bit about how western reporters naively thought he might develop a mind of his own.

You added a section about Medvedev and a cross-dressing Putin violently fucking each other in a public toilet.

The other two paragraphs are less bad, I'll give you that, but I don't like the idea of writing "You shouldn't bother reading this" at the start of the article. The third paragraph is rambling and hard to understand. How Putin came to power and helped Medvedev during the time when Yeltsin was in power is confusing, as is the bit about Nazis. Finally, the picture. I don't get it. He has a T-shirt on and is holding a skull and a bunny. What has that got to do with anything?

The IP edit said he is the online president. There's no such thing and there's no explanation to back up the joke. There's nothing in the article to explain what an online president is or how this differs from a normal president. It's just random nonsense.

So there you go. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  13:37, 21 April 2009 (UTC)

Alright Mickey. I read your message. Let me show you how I thought it would work. The following is my excerpt from the artcile with my jokes added. I shall explain them one by one.

Dmitry Anatomyevich Medvedev (Russian: Димо Мидведъ) is the undisputed online president (also known as e-president) of the Russian Federation. Medvedev is noted for his harsh stance on individuality and for his loyalty to his prime minister.

One by one. "Anatomyevich", which has the word anatomy in it, is a reference to him being a sock puppet. In other words, he has no anatomy because he's a puppet. Moreover, it kinda fits with his real father name "Anatolyevich", which itself has nothing funny in English. Next - the Russian translation. Of course, this is not real. It's just a garbled pronounciation in Russian to make someone who reads it and understands Russian laugh. Nothing more. Next - online president (e-president) is a reference joke to Medvedev being very "plugged in" to the electronic communications. I don't know, maybe in English wikies it wasn't mentioned, but the Russian ones are all over it. It's a current joke so much that even Medvedev himself said in one of his speeches that "I recognize the potential of reading about me on Wikipedia". He also spends time to chat with citizens, etc. etc. Once again, maybe in English wiki it wasn't heard so it's not funny. You decide.

The pic is there just because the guy looks like him. It's actually Boyd, the nazi punk guy. Looking like Medvedev. You don't think it's funny? Well, shame on you.

Pre-presidency

Medvedev was born to a modest family of Soviet engineers living in a flat flat, at the time called komunalka. He went to school. Got bullied a couple of times. Lost his lunch money. Ate chalk. Then played some pranks on his teachers, fell in love, smoked pot, drank and drove... You know, this kind of usual stuff everybody does in their lives. In fact, it's so usual it's not even funny. So I don't know why you're bothering reading this paragraph.

Okay, some more random stuff. Actually, it's taken a lot from the original Wiki. He was born to a modest family, was an A grader at school, finished, got his diploma, went to diplomatic relations college... See, I don't have a thing on how to make it sound funny, cuz the only way is to mention at the very end that this whole shit is actually so boring, you just wasted your time reading it. Still don't think that's funny? Tsk tsk tsk.

And then Medvedev met Putin. And his life turned around. Their first encounter happened in 1989, when he came to use a public toilet (before it gets privatized) inside the Russian White house and saw Putin, a fallen-down KGB agent, beating the crap out of some mafia guy. And then he heard the guy's neck snap and saw Putin coming out of the cabin, stretching his dress. When the latter one looked at pissing Medvedev, Putin whispered "And as for my second kill..." and started approaching him with a menacing grin. Medvedev stepped back, trying to escape, but it was too late. What happened next, nobody knows, but when they finally left the bathroom, they were friends. This is how it happens in Russia, by the way.

Here we see a little bit of more acute humour. I say that Medvedev met Putin in 1989 - during that time, it was the "Russian putch" when the government was changing, so Putin was probably eating crap from KGB and was ordered to kill a lot of people in order not to lose his job (and his life). So here we see him decapitate a guy through the toilet bowl which looks something like Casino Royale - a 007 reference, because Putin was a lot like James Bond. It's another recurrent joke. The public toilet getting privatized is another pun, referring to the times when the first Russian oligarchs were buying state stuff and taxing users to pay them for the services. And it's still like that today in Moscow. But less severe. The rest is pretty much random, I agree with you.

In the 1990s decade, Medvedev ran some business until it got bankrupt in 1998 when Yeltsin tried to brew his own moonshine out of soap after he was forbidden to drink due to health problems, and accidentally ruined Russian economy. It is during this time that Putin, once he was appointed president, helped Medvedev get back on his feet and build some political career first as his own henchman, then as a congressman until everybody else got bought by the USA, leaving Dmitry the only non-corrupted (if you don't count the nazi punks) person in the parliament by 2007.

Medvedev did ran a business in the mid-90ies, something like a state notarial service, actually more of a diplomatic mission. Let's read on... Yeltsin trying to brew his own moonshine is a joke coming from two known facts: first that this man was a severe alcoholic. And second, that one time he was really forbidden to drink booze by his doctor and was even coded not to start drinking again (which didn't help). Then this 1998 economic crisis happened in Russia, so I just decided to relate them both to make things funnier. After that, Putin really did help Medvedev, but more on a political level than in personal time. Dmitry was more there breaking his ass for Putin because he was paid like crazy so he led a crazy life style just so that Putin can be satisfied seeing his henchman working. And I'm pretty sure that Medvedev's divorce with his wife in 2006 was also a strong consequence of this loyalty. Then, the funny thing I mention "until everyone else got bought by USA", which is a reference to the fact that USA leaders and NATO organizations were openly bribing any "lefty" congressman during that time (and they still do, but less after what happened in Georgia and etc.) so that they would appeal to them and go against Putin and Russian political system (Because they're afraid USSR would come back lol). Zhirinovsky is the main instigator there... But that's a different story. And at the end, just for comic effect, I add "nazi punks" again as a reference to Boyd pic.

That's about it. You have some dissensions? Let me hear it on my talk page. Thanks, Shadiac 07:06, 25 April 2009 (UTC)

Okay. I've put back the sockpuppet bit at the start. While I liked the idea of the link, I thought the anatomy bit was a little tenuous, but I'll let that slide. I'll also take your word for it that the Russian name is funny to those who speak the language. The online president and Nazi bits are a bit too obscure, at least for the English language version of the article.

I've also added your Yeltsin idea to the "Meet Dmitry" section. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  12:15, 25 April 2009 (UTC)

Thanks, but stop acting like it's your article. Anyone can come here and write stuff. Plus, look at the first go of the review. It ain't that much funny, what I was telling you. Don't get me wrong, Mickey, your stuff is good too... But today people love to get stoned before they read Uncyclopedia, so we need more random stupid stuff to this. I still say Boyd has to go there, plus the e-president joke too. I swear, any Russian guy who would come here and read this will pee in his pants.

Anyway, you decide. I'm not going in without reaching concensus, it's gonna be wasted time. So I'm waiting for your suggestions.Shadiac 07:26, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

Hair

First thing I noticed about this article was there was no slapstick bullshit about fags, Samuel L. Jackson, l33t hackers, lesbo piles (see the horrible Richard Sharpe article), or gratuitous use of the word "retarded." I've watched Uncyclopedia for about a year and seen the poison that has ruined most of it, and my first impression was "this one actually has a chance to be funny." Just like truth is stranger than fiction, truth is also funnier than fiction. It is a fundamental of the art of lampooning to take reality and make it look ridiculous, NOT to turn it into something else. Most of Uncyclopedia is just the random verbal spunk of sophomoric nerds who jack off on their keyboards about absolutely nothing. Slapstick is bad parody, plain and simple. So ignore the smug-ass review above and its "too true to be funny" shit. Truth is funniest of all, you just have to tell it right.

Anyhow thanks for essentially leaving in the alternating-hair section. Those of us who actually know funny things about Russia have known about the hair pattern for a long time, though I didn't know it included the last two tsars which makes it even more amazing if true.

Most of the stuff in Russia-themed articles here is garbage, by people who know only three things: vodka, Yakov Smirnoff and how to jack off on a computer screen. Generic fill-in-the-names shit not lampoons. This one's хорошо so far. Kozz 14:50, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

Thanks. As a community, uncyclopedians are aware that a large number of the articles are just random rubbish. However, if you read the featured articles, you'll find that the best writers agree that the truth is funnier than nonsense. On the Russian front, I recommend UnNews:Vodka industry in turmoil following Yeltsin's death. Battleship Potemkin and Perestroika have also been featured.

I had to change the focus of the hair section, as the rest of the article doesn't out-and-out question Medvedev's legitimacy. When I was researching it, I found that the rule still works if you include the two leaders of the 1917 Provision Government: Prince Orlov (bald) and Alexander Kerensky (hairy). It can go even further back into the Tsars too, but it becomes a debate over how far a hairline can recede before someone's bald.

Thanks again, and congratulations on your good taste. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  19:55, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

Sadly outdated article

This article has changed little in 15 years. Most of the content is not very funny any more. When I updated the article based on more recent stupidity from Medvedev, the edit was reverted with the strange comment "featured articles shouldn't be changed this much".

It should be allowed to make jokes about his drinking problems, his ideas about russia invading and conquering larges parts of Europe, and other weirdness that has become much worse the last 15 years. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Joreberg (talk • contribs)

@Joreberg: Hey so I'm the guy that reverted you. Sorry if you were upset at my revert. To be fair, I'm not an admin, so my decision isn't finale - you can still try to add more things if you want. I just don't think your jokes mixed well with the original article, which was made with different jokes in mind - plus, I've learnt here that admins prefer that users do not delete things from a featured article, and you deleted several things when you made those edits. I did keep your new things about the recent events on Ukraine, though. My suggestion is that you try to add things, rather than change; because there were some good jokes in the original article that were gone when you made your edit. DaniPine3 (talk) 23:52, 28 August 2024 (UTC)

(p.s.: I do think your jokes about this guy "not" being an alcoholic were funny; maybe you can add that while trying not to change much from the original jokes.) DaniPine3 (talk) 23:55, 28 August 2024 (UTC)