Stork

The stork is a large bird that delivers ingredients for the creation of new babies to their mothers.

Stork, waiting to be called on for delivery service

Overview

Cartoon depiction of stork carrying a baby

Contrary to popular belief, the stork does not actually deliver the baby itself, it delivers the ingredients required to make one. The bird drops these ingredients into the mother's mouth so that she can digest and absorb them. This allows her to reconstitute the ingredients in her womb as a baby she can give birth to. The arrival of the stork is often preceded by the mother experiencing pregnancy. During this time, the people she consumes are digested and stored inside her as energy. This energy is then used to reconstitute the ingredients in her womb as an actual baby after she swallows them.

Protected Species

Storks can be seen flying year round as women are constantly having babies. However, they are currently a protected species, as many women to whom baby ingredients are delivered end up eating the stork as a results of the pregnancy. The storks have tried to counter this, retaliating against such women by eating them, but this has proved less than effective, although has resulted in some hilarious outcomes.

This woman was recently visited by the stork and has begun creating a new baby in her belly with the ingredients it brought her

Mistaken Deliveries

While we have storks to thank for new babies, they are prone to making mistakes. One of the most pervasive of these are mistaken deliveries, wherein the ingredients prepared for a pregnant woman are not delivered to her, and instead someone else's are. This usually results in simply an inconvenient delay, as the correct ingredients need to be re-sent to all parties involved. However, occasionally it has resulted in more ridiculous circumstances, such as women giving birth to aliens, which often puts them at risk of being eaten themselves. These alien incidents are not uncommon, but are usually resolved before anyone is eaten. Those who are eaten can often be recovered with only minor injuries, although there have been some particularly outlandish incidents related to this.

Unsuspecting Shannon Anderson just before giving birth to the alien baby that ate her

Notable Incidents

• Ottawa, Ontario (1983) - Sarah Martin gives birth to baby girl with wings after eating the stork that delivered the ingredients to her.
• Manhattan, Kansas (1988) - Alexandra McAllen is the first pregnant women eaten by a stork in retaliation for trying to devour the bird.
• Vancouver, British Columbia (1997) - Amanda Hillard accidentally resets her daughter after swallowing her during pregnancy when stork failed to deliver baby ingredients.
• Tallahassee, Florida (2003) - A stork delivers the wrong ingredients to Joanne Sohn who then gives birth to an alien that eats most of the people in her neighborhood who she had not already consumed.
• Jackson, Tennessee (2006) - Woman swallowed by stork in retaliation hatches from large egg laid by the bird.
• Santa Fe, New Mexico (2011) - Shannon Anderson is delivered the wrong ingredients by an absent minded stork and gives birth to an alien which eats her.
• Raleigh, North Carolina (2015) - Stephanie Patrick gives birth to horse. The stock that caused this is fired.

See Also

• Baby
• Pregnancy
• Resetting