Stop Touching me Emo

Stop Touching me Emo in its standard clothing style.

Stop Touching me Emo is a happily depressing toy aimed at children ages 3 to 8. Tickle Me Emo has many gut-busting phrases such as: "The only thing more depressing than you, is me.", "I have massive issues.", and "Stop it; that hurts!". Tickle Me Emo is made by the Depress-A-Me-Street Brand Toy Corporation.

Features

When you press his back, Emo puts his hand on your knee and says fun things! Be Careful! This toy may result in complaints!

Stop Touching me Emo comes with a red Dildo, useful for helping your kids brush their teeth. Be careful though! Too much orgasm of STM Emo's dildo will result in the dildo to ASPLODE, causing STM Emo's cum to stream out and ruin furniture and clothing. When Tickle Me Emo cums itself, toothpaste will start to seep out, causing STM Emo to moan realistically in arousal! Warning! Do not use Stop Touching me Emo's Toothpaste if you have not had SARS, HIV, and rabies vaccines.

If you squeeze STM Emo's hand, it will flip it's hair from side to side. Warning! Flipage of hair may cause it to spontaneously combust, setting fire to everything within a twenty foot radius. STM Emo's default clothing is his birthday suit. However, clothes for STM Me Emo can be bought at (where else?) Hot Topic! Other styles include MFD (complete with an MFD dildo), Epstein Style, and jeans stolen from STM Emo's younger sister, Oscar the Grouch.

Full listing of Tickle Me Emo's Phrases:

1. "Have you ever been tickled on the inside?"

2. "I'm lonely. Are you lonely?"

3. "Can I watch you go potty?."

4. "The only thing more depressing than you, is me."

Tickle Me Emo's weapon of choice.

5. "AAAAUGH! I masturbate to feel alive!"

6. "Do you wanna kiss the guy who does Emo's voice?"

7. "AAUGHH!" (Phrase partnered with head spinning around multiple times.)

8. "I feel somewhat less ready to kill myself after I came myself."

9. "If I had a dollar for every time someone was nice to me, I'd have nothing."

10. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"

11. "There is no God you hear me? No God."

12. "More, More, UUGH!"

13. "Nobody understands what I'm going through, especially YOU!!!"

14. "Can Emo smell your genitals?"

History

Stop Touching Me Elmo was commissioned to be built by the RIAA to find and seduce people who listened to music. However, he was so depressing (and he spilled cum onto the RIAA's lawsuit paperwork) that they flung him into the street, where it was picked by a six year old boy. The boy was found dead (stabbed seven times in the gut) nailed to the back wall of Toys R' Us. The Depress-A-Me-Street Brand Toy Corporation picked STM Elmo up, liked it, and manufactured it as Stop Touching me Emo, when it hit stores on Christmas of 2005.

On a completely unrelated topic, January of 2006 had the highest ever recorded numbers of suicide and murder.

See also

• Worst 100 Toys of All Time