Puppet
“There are many advantages in puppets. They never argue. They have no crude views about art. They have no pubic lice.”
Puppets are a breed of animals whose most notable feature is the inability to live by themselves: Humans must insert something into their bottoms in order to make puppets alive.
History[edit | edit source]
Puppets are still dark creatures to this day. Puppets were invented by a mentally crazed man named Firegu Shiyamoto from ancient Japan, who discovered how to make "goblins" that could talk AND walk. This "goblins" were very freakish-looking, and he kept them as pets, thus the name "puppets". These freakish creations scared all the townspeople away, and none of them ever came back.
The town is now populated entirely by puppets ... and the 2,000-year-old mentally insane man who created them. He's even afraid now, too.
Species[edit | edit source]
Puppets come in many shapes and sizes.
- Sockus manulus – sock puppet
- Dextrus manulus – finger puppet
- Suicidalus Esophagus hangus killus – marionette
- Anus Fistus manulus – hand puppet
- Anus Fistus suicidalus hangus (extinct)
- Homicidalus murderus – every goddam puppet in the world
Puppets can be found in ...[edit | edit source]
- Los Angeles, Wisconsin.
- government buildings.
- the basement.
- drawers.
- malls.
Do puppets have gender-defining organs?[edit | edit source]
Well, yes AND no. You see, a male puppet may look male, and a female puppet might look female as well, but some female puppets may look male as well as the male puppets that look female. You see, some female puppets can look more male than some other female puppets OR some male puppets themselves, as some male puppets may look more female than actual female puppets. Some puppets are female males and some are male females which are either more female or more male than a male female or a female male male or female puppet which is very confusing because a male male female puppet may not be male which a female male female male puppet with a male female male male male puppet may not be totally female which might be hard because some puppets are gay which would mean a female-like male puppet having a relationship with a male-like male puppet meaning they are as female as two males maling each other in the male like some females and some males. You see, a male male male male female male male male female male puppet may be female like the male male female puppet but not always because when a female male male female female male female female male puppet is female another male puppet may not be.
Well known puppetmasters[edit | edit source]
Although he may possibly be more known for other things, Adolf Hitler was also a renowned puppeteer during the time before Poland attacked his cuntry (sic).
Another not very famous Puppetmaster in history was lord Rallysteven. During his time, many claimed he was the greatest puppetcontrollah evar. Although recent research somewhere in New Jersey claims such a person never existed.