Omagh
| aka Omagh Spec | |
| GENERAL INFORMATION | |
|---|---|
| motto | Theres nothing to do..... |
| anthem | how low can you go |
| currency | Sheep |
| GEOGRAPHY | |
| county | Tyrone |
| country | Norn Iron |
| DEMOGRAPHICS | |
| population | 15000 farmers, 5000 emos, 1% others |
| ethnic groups | Cultchies, Chavs, Emos, Sucicidal people, foreigners, sheep |
| languages / dialects | Cultchie, "norn iron"ish, sheepish, polish |
| religions | Devil worshipping |
| GOVERNMENT | |
| government | People who look like Peter Griffin but do nothing |
Omagh is a large smoking crater town in County Tyrone, Norn Ireland. It was created by Finn McCool as part of a wider Town and Country Planning Scheme, spearheaded by the malevolent giant. It was built in response to Londonderry, which McCool's schizophrenic cousin was responsible for.
People live for cuttin springs and screwin out the dturbos baiii!
Despite the advent of colour sometime in the 1940s, Omagh has maintained a distinctly grey shade, only paletted by the scourge of Supermarket and chain store signs scattered everywhere.
Jesus Christ once visited Omagh, and found that by ignoring Arty G's guitar-enthused ramblings, it was actually easy to get out. This day is celebrated every year on December 25, with police raids on local clubs conveniently timed mere minutes after the clubs have taken everyone's overpriced door fee.
Brad Pitt grew up near Omagh, before his defection to America, as documented in his auto-biopic, The Devil's Own.
On August 15, 1998, a large hole appeared in the middle of a busy shopping street, at the exact same moment that a small car disintegrated, 29 people died, and a loud bang was heard. It wasn't the IRA bomb though, because they specifically told everyone that their bomb was going to go off up at the court house. It must have been the RUC, who shepherded everyone away from the courthouse right to where that big hole appeared.
Geography[edit | edit source]
Omagh's location at the foothills of the Russian Border. One of the major geographical points of interest in Omagh is the three churches on the same street, patronisingly named Church Street. Which was completely erased by a bomb
Recent consensus figures of Omagh indicate that the estimated population in 2006 was over 21,000. Of this approximately 76% are of various Culchie denominations, and the remaining 24% suicidal. Children tend to be segregated into schools, based on gender, religion, academic ability and shoe size
People Of Interest[edit | edit source]
- Arty G - The man in the hillshop with the glasses - The man with the one leg outside of boots - Philip (From Philips Kitchen)
Places Of Interest[edit | edit source]
In order to avoid the large numbers of underage drinkers in pubs and clubs, older residents absconded, and it is now common to see them lurking "down the rb ( or riverbank)" or in the Grange Park. Due to the credit crunch, almost all will be equipped with a bottle of Buckfast (Or "BUCKIEE!" as the natives call it). This also acts as a form of identification as it is known (or at least suspected) that anyone else is underage and thus able to drink only wkd.
Other places of interest include the Gortrush Industrial Estate,The lucky Inn, Shiva(For the sophisticated, wealthy drug user) and Xtreme Cáfe( for the inner emo in you!!), graveyards and pedophiles. These tourist hotspots, were named as the top 3 places to visit, and were given rave reviews by the tourist industries top destination reviewer.
Etymology[edit | edit source]
Omagh (pronounced oh-MAH; IPA Pronunciation: [0/\/\@]) (Irish: Is as an Ómaigh me; literally, My ass is in Omagh, and its not budging) was named for the declaration made by it's inhabitants while they are falling a short distance. The incomplete phrase, intended as a summons for one's deity, is usually disrupted by the lack of any tall buildings in the town, so falls that would otherwise kill a man, merely break his legs.