Norbit

Norbit, short for "Nigerian Orbit", is an Epic Science-Fiction movie directed by James Cameron and marketed by Titanic Films Incoporated. The film stars Eddie Murphy, and Eddie Murphy alone. The film involves a heroic negro's journey on the Niger I, Nigeria's first (and last) space shuttle (look where your tax money's going to now bitches!), as he journeys to the planet Biggalo IV in search of a sentient race of negronoids (humanoid negros).

Plot

The dramatic opening features the main character, Norbit, watching his favourite cartoon, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turdles and eating he favourite cereal, Captain Crunch, part of a nutritious breakfast. He is going through marital problems with his obese wife Bertha, as she is complete obsessed with Twishite. She also enjoys suffocating him whenever possible as to hopefully kill him to obtain his life insurance money. One day, after his wife suggests a foursome with Dr. Phil and Oprah, Norbit becomes fed-up with Bertha and kicks her out. After consulting with his kung-fu master Jackie Chan, Norbit sets out for Niggeria in order to take part in a space program. When he begins take-off, Bertha arrives and attempts to eat the shuttle, made of wood and the rotting flesh of Ethiopians, but the ship gets away. Norbit traverses the galaxy until he finds a planet with a sentient black race. They worship fried chicken and sacrifice half of their population to a bowl of the food every year, and Norbit happens to arrive in this time. After cleverly outwitting the soldiers of the planet with his clever negro wit, Norbit manages to flee the planet. Bertha is left behind and is sacrificed. The villagers estimate she is worth 50 years of sacrifices, and the population eventually flourishes.

We then cut to Norbit on a massive screen in the middle of the Squares of Time, some cheap Zelda rip-off, delivering his speeches for the Negro Party, which now controls the world. All the whites are killed in Norbit Purges, and Nigeria is nuked. The end.

Production

Most people don't know it, but Eddie Murphy plays the role of every character in the film. He was initially uneasy, because if he played both characters in a marriage, he'd literally be fucking himself, in theory, though the film was not graphic. However, after being payed 10 million dollars and buying the souls of the Ethiopian people, he joined the movie. The entire sequences featuring Nigeria were filmed in a toxic waste dump, and, ironically, the Nigerians in the audience exclaimed "Daaaaayyyyuuuummm, we could only wish to live somewhere that nice!"

Rating

Eddie Murphy smokes crack cocaine throughout the movie and is always seen with PCP tablets. Also, he swears throughout the movie: within the first 5 minutes, an estimated 26,000 "fucks, 17,000 "damns", and 10,000 "shits" were recorded. The film received a PG rating, and was called "THE family film to watch for 2007".

Basic Rules

Once the game begins each player must greet the other with a polite salutation, screaming "YU GI OH!!!". The game was created for fags, so the rules are pretty basic. You are allowed 5 cards in your hand. Each card had a level of homosexuality. This "gayness level" is determined by how much that particular card takes it up the ass. level one being "takes it up the ass erreday oh dee!" and level 10 being "you guys is gay for sucking mah dick". Famous professional YU GI OH players include the great Cholo ramses and Johannes. Johannes who currently resides in Hoboken, Nu JoyZ, is the reigning champion of this tremendously gay card game. After choosing the 5 cards, being the 5 cards taken first, you slap them down angerly on the table, whilst yelling "YU GI OH". Since all the people who play this game are tremendous faggots they usually over exaggerate and get angry over this stupid game for no reason. The game never gets finished, and the game usually converts to a fist fight. A cloud of dust circles the table, and all you hear from the cloud is the occasionally grunt "UHHHHHH". and the occasionally "YU GI OH!". As the dust settles only one player will remain. The winner is allowed to throw the opponents deck in his or face. After that the game is pretty much over, and you are recognized as a complete dumbass for playing the game.

Yu Gi Oh...where in God's name did it come from. Research was done to see where yu gi oh came from. They found that originally it was an asian gay yell. One man had a dragon doll stuffed in his ass and yelled yu gi oh which in chinese means gay game. Because it came from the fag asian community, the reward for everyone at the end of the game is a rice box with poop and duty in it. When yu gi oh finally evolved out of the fag asian community it came to America. There it became a game where two gay people from the ages of 18-48 would go in a room, lock the door. One news reporter tried to find out what happened in these rooms. He put his ear to the door and listened in. Some of what he heard was quite disturbing. He heard a lot of rustling and then what sounded like a pair of pants being unzipped, and then there was a loud yell of yu-gi-oh. (The movie the fourth kind was based on this). Finally an undercover news reporter got into one of these rooms. It took a couple of weeks to get an interview because his anal flesh was torn and he was in the hospital. Finally it was all figured out. Then to really reveal it to the public the movie the Karate Kid was made to show a young boy who wanted to "catch them all". Mr. Miyagie teaches the young lad how to apply wax on and off his torn butthole. He also teaches him to yell yu-gi-oh properly when he got it up the ass. Finally cards came into play for yu-gi-oh because too many people were in the hospital with torn anal flesh. Traditional yu-gi-oh is still played in Asian countries. If you walk down any street in Asia, you can hear faintly in the distance a random Asian guy getting up the ass, screaming yu...gi...oh.

Reception

The film was praised for its racial insight and cultural balance. The chairman Henry A. H. Itler, Grand Imperial Wizard of the Klan, said the portrayal of Nigerians as barbarians was entirely justified and true. The film scored $800,000,000,000 at the box office, and RottenTomatoes gave it 100%/100% reviews.