Moron section
“Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES edit the main body of this article! This is very important! [1]”
The moron section is a part[2] of an Uncyclopedia article, specially reserved for the mentally challenged editors[3]to edit. There is at least one in every article - when you see a section vandalized you know it has been the moron section of the article. Those with a big hole in their sense of humour usually have a lot of pent-up anger, for ample reason of course, but the rest of the Uncyclopedians shouldn't treat them like utter crap because of that. On the contrary, the mis-editor should be given a seat of honour amongst us: he shows us others what will happen if we take on tasks that exceed our capabilities by a long shot. The moron section provides the hapless one with a throne.
Examples of moron sections; test cases[edit | edit source]
All[4] of these sections have carefully been chosen among actual articles. They usually contain words or phrases that trigger an unwanted reaction in the mind of a mentally disadvantaged editor, who then proceeds to edit the article with derogatory words[5] - words that can be funny in some contexts, but which usually fail to produce amusement in anyone with brains when used wrongly. At the time of writing this article, the sections haven't been spoiled yet. Anybody is absolutely welcome to edit these sections with any idiocy that comes to their minds: Uncyclopedia will have valuable feedback from its least wanted members, and the powers-that-be will be able to systematize the article construction according to this feedback[6]. Now get to it - there's a lot you can do with these chapters!
Test Case #1 - Sarah Palin[edit | edit source]
Sarah Michael Palin, born 1964 in Idaho, is the governor of Alaska and the Republican Party nominee for the office of Vice President in the 2008 United States presidential election. She is best known for having a "Penguin on the Tellie" and has said that she hopes to "bring reform to the Ministry of Silly Walks" after she is elected.
Palin was selected by the Republican Party after it was deemed that its Presidential nominee, Senator John McCain, couldn't be trusted with making the decision himself.
Palin's selection for the Republican ticket has caused concern on the part of the Democratic Party because her lack of experience in doing anything other than raising a litter of children, and her blood lust for killing caribou has left little, if anything they can attack her on during the campaign. Questions have also been raised on Palin's parenting skills after it was revealed that her 17-year-old daughter Bristol, who is pregnant, speaks with a thick British accent, which many Americans find appalling.
Test Case #2 - Barack Obama[edit | edit source]
Hello, and welcome to tonight's edition of Meet the Candidate! I, as always, am your disembodied host, and tonight we will take a closer look at one of the many presidential hopefuls vying (that is, against Miss Spears), for your attention. Barack Hussein Osama the Democratic presidential nominee who, for some ill-defined reason, has swept the populace off their feet, will be the focus of the program tonight. While Mr. Obama, offering no excuse, will not be attending to discuss himself personally until the end of the show, we've managed to compile enough boring filler material to begin the show. For those of you not familiar with Mr. Obama, we've procured from reliable sources a brief biography of his earlier years. Let's begin, shall we?
Barack Obama was born on August 4th, 1961 at a luau in Honolulu, Hawaii. Contrary to popular belief, his actual name is Obama Barack, but it was soon changed when he emigrated to the U.S. His father, a black Kenyan Muslim, separated from his mother, a white Kansan atheist who had become a hula girl, when he was only two years old. The rest of Obama's childhood was spent under his bedcovers reading prosecutorial transcripts, jurist spec sheets, and Uncle Tom's Cabin with a boy scout flashlight. His later years were spent, doing...uh, pretty much the same thing, except on a surfboard, until he left home and donated his flashlight to the Salvation Army.
Test Case #3 - Chuck Norris[edit | edit source]
Carlos Raymond Norris, Esq (b. 1940), better known by his nickname "Chuck," was a world-renowned everyman the likes of which no one had seen since Paul Bunyan. Though he somehow managed to do every conceivable action both possible and impossible in his lifetime, his reputation has been slightly tarnished in recent years by allegations of steroid use. In fact, though his legacy is great, some even question whether or not he actually did anything notable. However, these allegations have been largely quieted in recent years, due mostly to irrational fears that his power will smite them.
Chuck was born of 18-year-old Wilma Scarberry (knocked up by Ray Norris) in a relatively uneventful birth. Various rumors credit God or Jack Bauer as the actual birther of Chuck Norris, but these obviously erroneous claims have been proven incorrect by Conservapedia and basic science, respectively. In fact, Chuck Norris' birth was so mundane that his father, in an attempt to "spice it up," inebriated the obstetrician delivering him. When later asked about the questionable responsibility of this act, he belched.
Test Case #4 - spite[edit | edit source]
History of spite as a disease
It was already known in the fourteenth century that bacteria, dark bacteria and anti-bacteria are the cause of many diseases. Spite was not, however, counted among diseases back then. It was just thought that people got "spiteful" when they were, for instance, losing a game or having their wives laid by the neighbour. A major step forward in the study of spite as a disease was the dubious find in 1911 by Carl Worse that jerks causing trouble have a separate line of evolutionary descent from monkeys. This new phlegmatic taxonomy was based on their general actions and had no scientific basis. At that time there was no obvious connection, but it was a great leap forward nevertheless[7]. The scientific community promptly forgot Worse had postulated any theory. This was a major setback to the study of spite as a disease, so it was as if nothing had happened. Yet something had. It only took ninety-six years for it to show.
The empty section[edit | edit source]
This section has been left empty for those who have slightly more to say than "ROFL you dead now noop I 8 u" - but not much. Here you can mention any reasons why this article sucks, why the author himself is a moron, and anything else that is bothering you at the moment. Feel just as free as with the rest of the article - or as free as with any article. Do it now - if you don't, it still proves absolutely nothing! - - emptiness.... - - - - - Did you already notice you can add lines to this empty section just by pressing the enter key? - - Oh yea! -lololololololololololol i love u - --------------------------------------lolmao that was a lot of dashes
Bold textME WAS HERE
A special note for the totally mindless[edit | edit source]
Those of you who have no other ideas than blanking a page: we have not forgotten you! This page will save you a lot of trouble!
Conclusion[edit | edit source]
The method used in this article is largely untested. However, we are confident that even if the article remains unspoiled for a time, the minds of the obsessive vandals will be affected by it, and they will come back sooner or later to wreck this page. To all of those who already have vandalized this: thank you very much for your effort! The world will remember you as selfless heroes who, despite their limited abilities, did their best to contribute to the difficult art of humorous writing. Your input has also been valuable to the study of human psychology.
Footnotes[edit | edit source]
- ↑ I don't think the footnotes and this quote count as the "main body" of this article.
- ↑ Some articles are obvious moron sections in their entirety.
- ↑ You don't know how to edit yet, and are not a moron? In that case, you are reading the wrong article. Please refer to the help section.
- ↑ The actual test is, of course, the main body of the article: can you keep from editing it with something totally irrelevant? If you can, it still proves nothing: we're trying to goad you into editing it with this teasing footnote. Come on, type at least one "Your MOM!!! N00b getefuckoutahere I keel you f@cker" in the introductory chapter! You will feel better after you've done it! DO IT NOW. Do you dare to do it? Then you can show your friends the resulting chapter with that wonderfully imaginative bit. If you've read this far, you have absolutely no choice. You resist the temptation only because you're told to do it. So do it NOW, not to prove you can be goaded into dumb things, but to prove you're someone to make up his own mind!
- ↑ Other kinds of words and phrases are used, of course, but not as often.
- ↑ The IP addresses of the contributors will be saved for further use: if there ever will be a humour police, the award-winning contributors will be given easy, menial jobs in some peaceful environment where they are repeatedly told they're doing really well.
- ↑ Here's a great spot for adding "ure a idiot."