Ministry of Silly Walks
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The Ministry of Silly Walks was a government run foundation, dedicated to supporting and regulating the popular activity silly walking throughout England.
History[edit | edit source]
The ministry was first established in 1811 in the village of Liverpool by Sir Montgomery Python in an attempt to regulate what had previously been an uncompetitive and unofficial pastime. In 1819 the building was relocated to central London brick by brick due to frequent vandalism and minor thefts. The surging popularity for silly walking forced the building to expand and expand, eventually becoming one of the most recognised aspects of the London skyline. In 1830, Sir Montgomery wrote the rulebook for silly walking which then allowed it to be permissible as an international competitive sport and would go on to feature in the next ten Olympic games. The English success in the sport gained the ministry world wide acclaim for its efficiency in producing and educating highly talented athletes.
On the 29th of February 1855 Sir Montgomery Python died in a freak accident, being crushed by a 16 ton weight while instructing a self-defense class. With no biological successor, ownership of the ministry was handed over to close friend Sir Jonathon of Cleese which led to several major changes. This date became known as the end of the golden era of silly walking as more mainstream sports like football, rugby and chimney sweeping gained popularity.
In 1880, Sir Jonathon grew tired of running the ministry and went off to pursue a career in acting to relieve stress, leaving the ministry to Oscar Wilde. He had only a brief stint as minister after the board of directors deemed him "uncommited and annoying" for his excessive yet memorable quoting which caused him to be sacked within two months. After this, growing tension between major executives eventually started a nationwide civil war. The party led by Terrence of Gilliam the IV won the struggle and so, ministership over the Palinist resistance. As government funding began to decrease Terrence lost popularity due to his cost cutting initiatives such as replacing horses with coconuts until eventually Fuhrer Thatcher privitised the ministry in 1984.
To this day the ministry is open to the general public as a museum to retain profitability but it can no longer offer grants and its world famed silly walking halls have been demolished to cut costs.
La Marche Futile[edit | edit source]
Attempts to develop a joint Anglo-French silly walk started in 1942. There was enormous pressure on the Ministry from the Government, who thought a successful Anglo-French walk would confuse the Nazis. Initial tests of "La Marche Futile" at Normandy were not a great success, and the Germans had developed their own silly walk, the "goose step", which confused the Allies.Development was put on a back burner until 1952, when again (aided by millions of pounds and francs of taxpayer's money), the two Governments worked at a solution. The race was on - apparently the Japanese had a man who could bend his leg over his head and back again with every step. A breakthrough occurred in 1958 with the discovery of the "forward aerial half-turn", and the finished silly walk was finally unveiled by Jean-Brian Zatapatique in October 1964.Since then, Britain has led the way in silly walks, and Government silliness generally.
Notable Ministers[edit | edit source]
- Sir Montgomery Python: 1811-1855
- Sir Jonathon of Cleese: 1855-1880
- Oscar Wilde: 1880-1880
- Terrence of Gilliam the IV: 1880-1881
- Lord Petter of Griffindore: 1880-1889
- Sir Jack of Harley Street: 1889-?
- Sir Montgommery of Burns: ?-?
- Lord Redford of Commiston: 1919-1991
- Lord Snoop of Dogg, Honorary Duke of Cripps: 1992-4/20/whenevah, bruv
- Sir Bartholomew of Allen Speedway, Minister of Silly Runs: 2016-2023
- Sir Master of Chiefs # 117: 2307-2552
- Sir Charles of Norrisberg: 2552-never
Museum Information[edit | edit source]
The museum is open 24/7 for all, with an entrance charge of £10 for over 3 year olds (adults) and £5 for under 3 year olds. It is located in Gloucester Triangle which can be reached from the tube station of the same name. GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!