Lipogram
“ABCDFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ”
“That common symbol found amidst D and F is not important at all.”
You may think that how I am writing sounds a bit odd; I am using words and constructions in a slightly unusual way. So I should now inform you of my motivations for this bit of writing - As in, such information you can find at this url.
I am making words today about Lipograms, and as a bonus for you, I am doing such writing in a way so that it is a lipogram also. A lipogram, as most of us know, is a bit similar to lipid sucking, only not with lipids, but with words. Authors who know an awful amount of words obtain NHS approval for a lipogram, and visit a clinic. An adult strips away all surplus words and phrasings, which go out of said company by mail. At this point, I - a man too poor for a vocabulary of my own - can buy such mail at a shop, mix up all words I hoard, and form a lipogram. I will not say how long I had to wait to find "lipogram". I am still writing.
I am not complaining - I am fond of writing lipograms (I should stop using such a word.) - I just wish our country had additional word-fat authors so I could find words that suit what I want to do. What if I could find William our Bard's surplus words? I could do without all this scrounging, I think! But that's not going to occur, is it? I'm just living in a fantasy, that's all. Anyway... you don't want to find out just about my tribulations, do you? I must go about informing you about lipograms. (Aaargh! That's wasting my last copy of that word!)
It's silly, though - for all I know, picking out cast-offs, I could not know various compulsory things about articulation of my thoughts. My list of word-bits, shown right, might not contain as many as most of your lists do. How tragic if that's a fact - I know word-bit Z, but what if our dictionary-guys brought out an additional word-bit tomorrow and nobody thought to inform this schmuck of it? If it wasn't as common as Z, I don't think I'd find out!
Still, thank God for my Mum! Mum is always an inspiration; I was taught to do writing by Mum - also how to buy words, and how Lipograms work. "No public schooling for my child," Mum would always say, with a glinting pupil. Poor woman - still watching my back now although I'm past thirty-two - brings my mail in, too! Talking of that, I just got a pack of words, and what did I find? A giant word - I shall put it in now, I think: Floccipaucinihilipilification. Our world's most giant word, says Mum! It stands for: "To think a thing is without worth." Mum always said I had to know what worth words had, and I do try to afford admiration to all words. But this is an unusually brilliant word! I can't wait to obtain it again!
Mum is a bit of a boffin - always writing stuff down. A lot of it is about my writing, I think, but Mum won't allow anybody to look. "Our study will finish soon," Mum says, "Soon, my child. And such findings! But oh, it's so tough to do - I think I'll soon go out of my mind!" I try comforting, but it's difficult. Words don't roll to this particular boffin's mouth too quickly - odd, you might say. But I don't mind - I'm fond of my Mum anyway!
I think you'll probably call this vanity now and "huff" it - it is just a rant, I know, and has told you nothing much about lipograms at all. Still, I must just thank you for allowing a guy to moan for a bit - and that's all I can say about that!
"Finish this, you must!", proclaims Yoda.