Jihad Jenga
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“Jihad Jenga. The easiest way to emulate 9-11”
“The first present I ever received was a Jihad Jenga.”
Jihad Jenga is a Jenga company owned by the Taliban. The company was initially owned by Osama bin Laden, who with his other enterprises, had a monopoly on the Middle East. It was responsible for the marketing stunt that caused 9-11, making it popular in any nation screwed over by America.
However, after bin Laden was rudely assassinated in 2011, several businessmen and companies including PETA, Elon Musk, and ISIS have owned the company. Nowadays, it's owned by the Taliban, who use the company as a secondary source of income after human trafficking. The company is almost always on the verge of collapse due to bits and pieces of assets of it continuously being sold to others, but, seemingly miraculously, it has not fallen yet.
Role in 9-11[edit | edit source]
In September 2001, the company began a cryptic ad campaign using their slogans. Most federal agencies thought that the company was referring to emergency response and the police, so George W. Bush erroneously congratulated Osama on being nice for once. On the day before 9-11, Osama contacted Earth, Wind & Fire so they could change the lyrics as he liked the music and didn't want them to suffer controversy.
When 9-11 occured, the company had record sales, primarily from countries like Mexico and China, which hadn't even known the company existed prior to them. On September 11, 2021, they admitted to causing 9-11, revealing an unreleased ad for their product, which you can see here.
Competitors[edit | edit source]
The primary competitor of Jihad Jenga are bible belts, which are popular outside the Middle East. Additionally, the SouljaGame was also a competitor before becoming abandonware in 2024. Despite that, Jihad Jenga is still the 3rd highest selling toy yearly. This has led to several companies, including Meta Platforms and Qatar, trying to create alternatives. Most of these are sold as bootlegs in Target or IKEA, unlike the Jihad Jengas, which are sold in Salvation Army.
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