Henry Hudson
Henry Hudson (born 1561 AD, reappeared on Earth circa 3100 BC, finally died 168 BC) was an English explorer and first Pharaoh of the Wookies whose greatest accomplishment was the building of the pyramids of ancient Egypt in honor of his mother.
Post-Mutiny[edit | edit source]
After his crew mutinied in 1611 AD and set him adrift in North America, Hudson paddled to shore. After several months of meager survival, Hudson encountered a Native American medicine man who gave him a magical amulet in return for a stick of Juicy Fruit. Hudson rubbed the amulet and was instantly transported through time and space to a galaxy far, far away.
Discovery of the Wookie Race[edit | edit source]
Hudson was teleported to the homeworld of the Wookie race; the furry creatures, having never seen such a strange being before (if you saw this guy in public, what would you think?), worshipped him as a god. Hudson used his flintlock boomstick to impress the primitive society. He became the first Pharaoh of the Wookies in 4987 GC (Galactic calendar), or about 1238 BC on Earth.
Creation of the Ancient Pyramids[edit | edit source]
Having become bored with playing Pharaoh on a primitive planet, Hudson attempted to take some Wookies back to good old England to use as slave labor. Such a discovery would gain him instant celebrity status, enormous wealth, and a ticket into Queen Elizabeth's bedchamber (Hudson always had a thing for older women). However, the mystical amulet proved impossible to control, and Hudson was transported to ancient Egypt in about 3100 BC.
It was here that Hudson decided to use the Wookies as slaves in an endeavor to build a monument to honor his mother's memory (yeah, it's a mouthful, but that's how Hudson himself said it). Commanding 24 Wookies, Hudson managed to build the Great Pyramid at Giza in 2 months 15 days 4 hours and 37 minutes.
Back to the Galaxy[edit | edit source]
His greatest goal achieved, Hudson tried once more to teleport back to good old England. This time he would end up on Tatooine in the same Galaxy as the Wookie homeworld, and, mistaken for a wanted man, was captured by Boba Fett and taken to Jabba the Hutt. With his slick English accent, Hudson convinced Jabba that the Wookie race made good workers, and it was these enslaved laborers that build Jabba's grandiose palace.
The End of Henry Hudson[edit | edit source]
In 23457 GC (168 BC on Earth), Jabba's Wookies revolted. They demanded more adequate dental insurance as well as higher quality shampoo (the Wookies overwhelmingly favored Pert Plus) but were denied. Henry Hudson was unable to put down this Wookie Rebellion without many casualties. That fact, combined with the loss of Jabba's prized pineapple tree during a shootout with Tusken Raiders, caused Hudson to lose favor with Jabba. Hudson was eventually forced to walk the plank into the pit of the Sarlacc.
Legacy[edit | edit source]
Henry Hudson is remembered today mostly for his legendary marksmanship. He participated in many gunfights and duels. It was Henry Hudson who sent outlaw Billy the Kid to meet his maker in 1892 AD. Hudson preferred his old flintlock to the straight-firing blasters of Jabba's court.
Hudson, during his time travels, also became the great-grandfather of Winston Churchill.