Fate worse than death

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A fate worse than death is an experience of constant agony, pain, physical or psychological torture that goes on for eternity in such a way that death would be a relief. Despite its name, however, most fates worse than death actually are forms of death.

Fates worse than death can result from overuse of body-hopping, becoming a robot and thus, converting yourself into computer data, and blaspheming God in the ultimate way.

Ordinary fates worse than death[edit | edit source]

These fates are not death, and thus, you can be freed from in some way. That will not, however, make the fates any less intolerable.

Robot Psychosis Syndrome (RPS)[edit | edit source]

This disorder is primarily experienced by robots, but if a human or animal mind is converted into sentient computer data, overuse of the internet can result in a barrage of computer viruses that combine to destroy you. If you're lucky, you'll become incapable of having a good conversation with someone due to the viruses hindering your speech. If you're really unlucky, your mind could be trapped on the internet in the form of an account, possibly on this site, or that site. Coincidentally, that site also has two tropes about this subject—"Fate Worse Than Death" and "And I Must Scream". They do not, however, bring up the particular form known as RPS.

Melting Alive[edit | edit source]
It seems Cell was summoned to absorb these two, while the other guy got lucky, and just died.

The rotting and melting of the human body is a painful and slow process that causes the skin and organs to liquify and fall apart in a violent, gory manner. When a person finishes melting, their motionless conscious body will later solidify and remain in the shape of a psychedelic puddle for eternity. And that's if they're lucky.

Such a fate was the modus operandi of Cell, a creature created by the Red Ribbon Award-winning scientist turned Anti-humanist activist Dr. Gero. Unlike most normal instances of this fate, Cell would stab his tail into the victim and suck their matter up. This would, of course, trap their soul in his body, sentencing them to a fate much like eternal oblivion (see below). The victim, however, can still be freed.

Being God[edit | edit source]

Now, I don't want to start any Blasphemous Rumors, but many have pondered on what it would actually be like to be God. Surely it must be wonderful.

Actually, not so. You see, maybe God himself can take it. But what would experiencing the life of GOD be like for a MORTAL mind? It would be unpleasant.

You see, even if God never sent himself to become the child of Virgin Mary as Jesus, and thus, didn't die on the cross. God has always and always will exist. This means he lived for billions of years before he even had the idea of creating the universe, and thus, had to deal with an eternity of memories. That must be painful.

Some theologists have suggested that this passage of time doesn't affect God because he is outside the universe and outside of passing time. If this is true, then perhaps he is the one thing able to free victims of eternal oblivion (see below).

Having Ever Been in a Boyband or Manufactured Music Group of Any Kind[edit | edit source]
Main article: Boyband

The life of boy band members is truly tragic. They don't have a single purpose in life other than to cater to obnoxious teen girls with their "singing".

Boys in a boy band are manufactured in the Boy Band factory in Ohio. As stated in the article, most boys in the band are actually clones of the normally biologically-born-from-a-woman but oddly-named "X-24", whose identity is indeed unknown.

However, what that article fails to make clear is that only most boy band members are artificial lifeforms. If you are ever unlucky enough to be as "attractive" as the boy bands are, you could be abducted by a suspicious white van and be FORCEFULLY RECRUITED TO A BOY BAND!!! If you are a boy, and are of the ages 11 to 17, keep inside. You may be tempted to go to your friend's house, or to run a while, but a test conducted by the RIAA and FBI over criminal practices in the music industry demonstrated that 1 in every 3 boys will become a victim of involuntary boy band joining. What's worse even if you were abducted, and thus, had a purpose other than being a boy band robot, you are still given the same treatment as other boy band members, which means that they will be disposed of at age 30. Unlike cloned boy band members, the abducted boys will not explode, but instead, due to an error in the genetic mutation bullets they are shot with, they instead implode, and their brain will become a sentient microorganism, to never see family or friends again. If they're lucky, they'll make friends with bacteria communities that, if they can travel miles away in their lifetime, can be found in the same state at the amusement park Cedar Point, in Sandusky.

Boy bands are well-known to be tedious, their gender opposites, girl groups, are just as horrific to be in. Girl groups, like boy bands, are manufactured to appeal to their opposite sex, and are also genetically manufactured, except the Girl Group Factory is located in San Fernando, California rather than near Cincinnati. Initially, the girl groups' women had the same lives as boy bands, but when the Spice Girls rose in popularity, the women who reached age 30 were instead, due to the Spice Girls' popularity, were forcefully transformed into spices by the use of witchcraft.

Unlike boy band members, all girl group members are promiscuous heterosexuals rather than gay, and often reproduced because of it. Their children have notably also become a victim of the same genetic occult curse of being involuntarily changed into spices. The children of girl group members are often worse off, because they instead die at age 15, and since they could be anywhere when transformed, rather than securely in the Girl Group Factory, there is no mercy death in sight for them, because humans are less likely to eat spices they find on the ground mysteriously.

Afterlives Worse Than Death[edit | edit source]

These fates worse than death actually are death, and thus, it is impossible to be freed of them by any means except for God.

Hell[edit | edit source]
Main article: Hell

While eternal is indeed considered a horrific fate of eternal torture. The undead have stated that it's on of the least horrific afterlives. At least you can talk to the fellow souls sent there. The fact that you can still be around people in Hell proves that God is indeed a merciful god.

Being Waitlisted[edit | edit source]

Imagine being stuck in a mortal problem like waiting for potentially years. That may seem like a First world problem now, but not when you basically get locked out of heaven and have to wait for the rapture, things can get intolerable.

One of the most infamous cases of waitlisting came about on March 14, 2006, when the last spot in heaven was claimed by Arnold Green, leaving all future people to die and end up in a black void with nothing but an endless line of other people.

Eternal oblivion[edit | edit source]

Eternal oblivion is the absolute worse fate one can ever experience. Also called ceasing to exist, it is where you supposedly see, hear, know, and are nothing. Atheists somehow are okay with this.

However, actually ceasing to exist is so inconceivable that it is impossible. Even when you go to sleep, you still dream. Scientists have pondered on this for years, and how someone could possibly experience non-existence. After years of research, scientists concluded that when you die and cease to exist, you actually no longer exist in this universe, but you begin existing in another.

However, this fate is just as bad as actually ceasing to exist, because when you die and cease to exist in this world, you are instead booted off to a completely empty universe where you still hear, feel, and think nothing. You don't know or feel nothing, but you instead, feel whatever you last felt. Although you do know things, you can't think about them because you are busy pondering on how you can still experience this horrific psychological torture while not existing, or perhaps the torture itself. This is especially bad if you died a painful death, since you, unable to think rationally, will never get used to it.

Fortunately, the circumstances of this fate mean that it is almost impossible to actually experience. Only those without souls experience this fate upon death.

See Also[edit | edit source]