Extended car warranty
“See, there's a quote by me in this article, so it is prima facie funny and you can't delete it!”
“Oh, Oscar. So meta.”
“Guys, this wasn't funny in 2015.”
“Madam, I may be drunk, but tomorrow I will be drunk again, and you will be looking a lot better.”
“I'm sorry. I'm sorry. How many times do I have to say it?”
An extended car warranty is something that nobody has, but they worry about it anyway. A lot. Hours spend waiting waiting by the phone -- hoping, even praying that someone, anyone, is trying to reach them about their extended car warranty.
Meanwhile, in Berlin, hundreds of thousands are people are trying to reach them to talk about that very subject -- their extended car warranty. But they can't. Instead, they only reach people who don't even care about their extended car warranty. These people may care about their neighbor down the street's extended car warranty -- care very deeply, losing sleep about it to the point of becoming infested with stress worms. But they don't care about their own extended car warranty. That's how shattered their egos are.
So they hang up, feeling morose, and the caller is distraught, and so begins a downward spiral of sadness that spreads and spreads and ultimately ends up in the Cubs blowing the 1969 pennant race.
It's just sad. Henry Ford, who invented the extended car warranty before he even invented the automobile, would be turning in his grave if he weren't still alive.
For more information, see Margarine.
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