DJ Aligator
DJ Aligator (? - ?), often referred to as Him, The Musical Genious (NOT to be confused with Him), is considered to be the peak of modern music as we know it. He is mainly known for his solo-career under the name of DJ Aligator, but also received standing ovations for his collaboration with Ludwig van Beethoven, Frank Zappa and The Little Red Bunny-boy Named Sue.
Biography[edit | edit source]
Early years[edit | edit source]
DJ Aligator, or Mustafa Renshaw Muscet Mustache Theiran, commonly known as Ali, was born on an unknown day under an unknown moon. His place of birth is, however, known to be Tehran, Iran. The two sucssessive ans just being an coincidence, he ended up becoming the youngest member of a rather large family of four. Despite the fact that the family consisted of four separate members, none of them made out of gold, he was a lone child, ergo he had no siblings. What he had, on the other hand, was two mothers and one father. Of course only one of the three possible combinations of parents (one automatically excluded from the lack of a willy) led to the creation of Him, The Musical Genious. But unsettling events, including the cunfusion between two identical babies, a pack of wolves and a father lacking the funds to raise two kids, made it impossible to tell from whom He had erupted.
He would already at an early age start to show his musical creativity. At the age of five or six he had made several sketches of what would become his first opera The DJ Aligator eXperiment. He had also managed to design and construct an instrument consisting exclusively of computer components. This would later be known as the synthesizer.
| “ | In particular, I remember how much I loved all the gatherings and parties my parents, Allah do them good, arranged quite often at our house. Relatives, friends, and neighbors would come together to mingle, sing, and dance to my music, and i would be praised as the God I am. | ” |
While other kids of his age fooled around the house chasing one another, and wrestling Ali would rather stand next to the guy playing the keyboard, telling him off for his lack of innovation and virtuosity. As he got no response to his comments, he would progress to fixing his gaze on a certain point at the back of the man's head, staring intensly upon it until nothing happened and he would give up. Then, finally, after several years of practice, on his tenth birthday, he would finally manage what he had wanted to do ever since the day the guy playing the keyboard sat foot in his house: Assissted by a magnifying lense, he managed to burn a hole in the guys neck killing him instantly. From that day on no one but He has been allowed to play the keyboard at His Mansion.
The Teen Mutant DJ[edit | edit source]
As soon as Ali turned 13, he immediately started to animutate. The effects of his animutation would go unnoticed for some weeks still, but it is certain that that was The Day It All Started. No more than a month later, he had already started to develop scales, his spine gained pointiness, and his jaw grew longer. His temper also started to rise, and as an effect of this he started snapping against anyone who annoyed him. This (and his blue-green scales) gaining him the nickname "The Blue-Green Snapper"".
At the age of 17 he had gained an immense knowledge and understanding in the concept of music, but a misfortunate stroke of fate struck him. He obtained the Avian Flu, and was forced to move to Svalbard. While having very little to do at the time of fighting his illness, he fully devoted himself in the studies of music. He composed a nearly endless amount of music and made as many as 304 different arrangements of the infamous Piano Concerto in A-minor by Edvard Grieg.
A Great Idea[edit | edit source]
On a November night, somewhere in time, as Ali was playing at his turntable in a nightclub, he happened to notice some guys on the dance floor blowing at whistles to the beats of the music. The combination of the sound of the whistles and the techno music seemed to work quite well. Ali was struck by a sudden idea. As he rushed back to his modest studio with the ten-digit price-tag in His New Mansion, two words kept popping up in his head: World domination...
PaybackTime™[edit | edit source]
As His Great Idea transmuted into The Great Flop in a matter of nanoseconds, mainly because of the disturbance in the space/time-continuum caused by the Ancient Greeks at that exact moment, he was devastated into a sense of emergency. For an entire year he studied hard with only one thought in mind: To create his own version of HammerTime™, the PaybackTime™. At first this was an uphill battle, but another sudden stroke of fate, this time immensly fortunate, one day struck him hard on his forehead. From that point on, creating PaybackTime™ was about as hard as walking and chewing gum at the same time. With this invention he was able pay time a visit in the backwards position, and through this met many of humanity's greatest men, and quite a few not-so-great women. At one time he joined forces with Ludwig van Beethoven in the Battle of the Egmont Ouverture, and as a sign of gratitude Beethoven composed the piece Für Ali (later to be known as Für Elise).
Present Time[edit | edit source]
For the time being, no one quite knows the location of DJ Aligator. Neither the geographical location nor the location in time. For all we know he might be lost in Hillary Duffs devious backyard 13,452 years from now. He might not even ever been in today, just skipping the days he doesn't like as easy as others change socks. take a leak. scratch their nose.
Selected Works[edit | edit source]
Neither in chronological nor alphabetical order.
- The Latest Album (1998)
- Protect Your Ears (1923)
- 304 arrangements of Piano Concerto in A-minor by Edvard Grieg (1893)
- 304 arrangements of Piano Concerto in A-minor by Edvard Grieg Vol. 1 (1893)
- 304 arrangements of Piano Concerto in A-minor by Edvard Grieg Vol. 2 (1893)
- 304 arrangements of Piano Concerto in A-minor by Edvard Grieg Vol. 3 (1893)
- 304 arrangements of Piano Concerto in A-minor by Edvard Grieg Vol. 4 (1893)
- 304 arrangements of Piano Concerto in A-minor by Edvard Grieg Vol. 5 (1893)
- 304 arrangements of Piano Concerto in A-minor by Edvard Grieg Vol. 6 (1893)
- Davaj Davaj (10,001 BC)
- Music Is My Language (?)
- No one understands what Davaj Davaj is anyways (1254)
- Tike Tike Kardi (3542)
- No one understands that either (2042)
- From Paris To Berlin with Frank Zappa and the Gloryholes (1942) - This became the official WWII soundtrack.
- Blue Ice (1969)
- Green Ice (1918) - WWI official soundtrack.
- Yellow Snow (1970)
- Ice, Ice, Baby (1638)
- Mosquito (1723)
- Flight of the Bumbelbee
- The Black Plague (1439)
- PaybackTime™ (∞)