Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

Crosby, Stills & Nash (CSN) or "the three whores of folk-rock" were a band of gay groupies made up of American youtubers David Crosby (August 14, 1941 – January 19, 2023) and Stephen Stills and British soundcloud rapper Graham Nash. When Canadian caveman Neil Young joins them in their orgy, they are called Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young (CSNY) or "the four whores of folk-rock". They are known for being the of the four most horniest men in existence and their ability to turn everything into a fight much like toddlers. In fact, it is rumoured that they are actually very tall toddlers with the exception of Stephen Stills who is a regular-sized toddler.

Background

The beginning

Once upon a time, there were the three nations: The Byrds (of which Crosby came from), The Buffalo Springfield (of which Stills and Young came from) and The Hollies (of which Nash came from). Whilst the Buffalo Springfield just said 'fuck it' and broke apart, The Byrds and The Hollies had decided to kick their members into the streets, leaving them homeless, because they were too horny. This was very traumatic for Crosby and Nash, however, it was also a very monumental part of their relationship as it helped them develop their relationship further as their traumas were similar.

GOD SO much mental illness😂😂😂😂😂😂 STEPHEN was like AYOOOO NO PARENTS amd he got adopted by a fucking stupid emo gay skinny ugly bitch named Copernicus Neilius Youngi But then Copernicus disowned him and now Graham Cracker Breath Nash and Bong Crosby r his parents amd they sing him lullabies every night mwah. This whole family has trauma I swear to god.

Stephen Stills gets disowned (and then adopted wow)

Ever since Neil deadass forgot about Stephen and literally drove in hearse all the day to Canada or something, poor little Stephen was forced to live on the streets of America, relying on the trash he found on the streets and the money he got from begging. He was a poor little child and no orphanage could keep him in because he was lowkey autistic and no one would accept him because yeah </3. Also, he was bald like... bald man's hair was receding tf.

He went to many states in the United States and there are too many to list them all grr I hate America.

Stills' childhood baldness

During this stretch of time, he became even balder than he was ever before. Before, he was just thinning but now he was balding fr. He had a rare case of early childhood baldness which many children bullied him in school for - not only that but he was short and lowkey autistic this guy was a bully magnet). Most likely the sudden loss of hair was caused by stress as he was yelled at by many for being ugly and homeless. The trauma </3. Anyway, he lost around half his hair, leaving him in a state of sadness and hopelessness on top of being fucking bald😂😂😂. Perhaps he would have died if he had not found Croz.

Croz saves his ass

Anyway, one day he bumped into Crosby again he cried so hard that he managed to flood California. Croz, feeling high asf that day, signed the adoption papers and from that day onwards, Stephen was his kid.

Croz and Graham get married and it is so homosexual

In 1968 or something Graham Nash flew the States after leaving his childhood best friend turned lover Allan Clarke. He and Allan just had one hell of a fight over who won Mario Kart. It was so big and loud that Tony Hicks cried. Poor Tony. In the argument, Nash said "I HATE YOU CLARKEY!! I WILL NEVER EVER LOVE YOU EVER AGAIN!!" to which Clarke responded: "FINE!! THEN GO BACK TO AMERICA WITH YOUR STUPID NEW BOYFRIEND OR WHATEVER" They both cried that night it was so sad.

Nash met Croz at the airport and cried into his shoulder. Croz comforted him saying "I love you... I will never ever leave your ass". Soon, after living with each other for many months, they got married and they had a honeymoon which lasted 17 months. During that time, Stills was left home alone and it was very sad for the little man but fuck him he's bald so whatever.

At Crosby and Nash's wedding, many famous people were guests such as (but not limited to):

• Stephen Stills (unfortunately)
• John Lennon
• Paul McCartney
• George Harrison
• Ringo Starr
• Jimi Hendrix
• Mick Jagger
• Keith Richards
• Charlie Watts
• Brian Jones (Michael Clarke's lookalike)
• Michael Clarke (Brian Jones' lookalike)
• Joni Mitchell
• Judy Collins
• Bob Dylan
• Joan Baez
• John F. Kennedy (Clone High)
• David Bowie (Nez's y/n)
• Mike Nesmith (Bowie's y/n)
• Davy Jones
• Peter Tork
• Micky Dolenz
• Roger McGuinn (Crosby's ex)
• Allan Clarke (Nash's ex)
• Tony Hicks (Nash's child that HE FORGOT ABOUT)

Neil Young is an animal

Then one day, after Stills came back from kindergarten, Crosby and Nash decided that they needed to get Young back into Stills' life. The poor little man was crying nearly every day because he missed his adoptive father who often took him to the zoo and threatened to get him thrown into the lion cage. Not only that was but he also screamed in his sleep a lot and it made the couple unable to sleep. Children are nasty.

Crosby and Nash took out the garbage and decided to set up a trap for Young. Leaving the trash just in the backyard (where two cats resided) nearby the trap, they waited until the Neilanderthal came for his feeding. Once caught, they brought him to Stills who immediately screamed at them "YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL! IM NOT GONNA COP OUT AN INCH TO FEAR AND YOU WALKED OUT TWO FUCKING DAYS IN A ROW YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITE. YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF" and slammed the door on them. Crosby and Nash took this to be a good sign.

Ever since then, Young has been the family pet. Often, he sleeps outside and pees in the bushes (as he should). However, because of his Neilanderthalian nature, Young often hears the call of the wild and attempts to escape into the wild again. Every time this happens, Stills gets mad at his adoptive parents leading Crosby and Nash in a cycle of pain. It's okay though, they manage to lead Young back using the same trick every time.

15 million breakups

CSNY are known for being whiny little whores, especially Young and Stills. After the release of their mega successful album Dr Dre Ya Voodoo, Young and Stills became mega bitches and caused the band to split up. This happened untimely 15 million times during the bands career, sometimes fueled by Young an Stills being whiny and gay and other times by Crosby’s addiction to sucking cock because it killed his voice.