Catholic High School PJ
Alcoholic High School PJ (Malay: SMJK Sayatakfaham Chinese:你可以去吸我的) is a reeducation camp a government school school in Petaling Jaya, Missouri. Founded in 1956, it has approximately as many students as the kids down my sink.
Located in the center of Florida, Malaysia, this school is as big as Freedomland but does not have fucking space to expand the goddamn canteen seats. There is a 5km long grass field to feed the cows that help the school digest the goddamn homework. There is also a cemetery which contains the remain of Rev. Bro Phillpe Wu, Leong May Fun, Tunku Abdul Rahman, Najib Tun Razak, Ting Li, Ng Junni, Teletubbies, Madagascar and many more famous celebrities.
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History[edit | edit source]
In 1944 the Japanese soldiers used the classrooms to slaughter innocent students who didn't shave their hair bald or pin up their "scallop hair". In 1956, Alcoholic High School started accepting centipedes as students to educate them for a better future. One famous centipede alumni even led the design of the Kuala Lumpur Twinkle Twinkle Little Star Towers. In 1988, the school was taken over by terrorists with teachers and students held hostage, demanding that the government give them their goddamn teddy bear back. In 2003, a massive earthquake happened at Alcoholic High School after the legendary athlete "Big Mac" Leong May Fun attempted to commit suicide. It ended up creating a 2km wide big fat hole that is smaller than the principal's pussy. In 2009, a school homework-chewing cow became sentient and started going on a rampage chewing students to death. In 2023, an extremely radioactive large object was discovered inside the school toilet, and whoever that got near it threw up and passed out, which many students unknowingly walked into the toilet fainted. This event has caused massive deaths and injuries and resulted in 73 deaths and 264 injuries.
Transportation[edit | edit source]
Academics[edit | edit source]
The school achieved 0.11 of average grade in Suicidal Peckerhead Maggots(SPM) 2022, which performed the best in the district corruption office as said by Abraham Lincoln.
Mascot[edit | edit source]
The school has a worldwide famous cat mascot. The name is often debated. Jeremy Catolic and Ryan are both accepted names and it does not give a bigger shit about what you call it as it is just, a cat. The kitty is a buglar Hotrod Standard Issue Cat and will attempt to break into places that causes innocent student's great trouble by making the teachers start screaming louder than when a student has one strand of hair touching their eyebrows.
Suicide Cases[edit | edit source]
Aside from great academics, Alcoholic High School is also famous for the suicide cases which are growing exponentially due to the increasing pressure from extracurricular activities, homework, and the sheer insanity from crazy little zombie fucks nicknamed "Form 1 kids".
| 1981 | 1993 | 2000 | 2005 | 2012 | 2015 | 2023 | 2035 |
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| 0 | 2 | 3 | 8 | 12 | 15 | 97 | 1180 |
